Lessons Learned

Lately I’ve been feeling out of sorts.  Not so much my usual happy-go-lucky self.  Seems as though the last few weeks have been gray and gloomy.  Lots of sadness in the lives of people I know…from a co-workers mother-in law passing away, another co-workers mom passed away, a good friends friend lost his 7 year battle with cancer at the age of 33, and I just heard of another high school classmate losing her newborn son.  And work has been oh-so stressful.  So, I’ve been feeling a little sad.  Wondering how one can possibly be lucky enough to live a long and healthy life, to keep their husband by their side long enough to really grow old together, and to never have to deal with the death of a child.  All of those things are, of course, out of my control and rather than focus on the sadness of the last week, I need to take hold of the life lessons that the week has presented.  Live in the moment, be grateful for all that you have, love unconditionally…

So I got home from work last night and scooped up my baby girl…and we played the night away.  We sat on the floor in her closet and tried on shoes (she loves to do that), we played hide and go seek…….which in our house is called the “See You Later” game.  Goes something like this…Momma stands in the living room with Marley.  I say, “See you later…” and proceed to hide in one of the other rooms (usually her room).  A moment later, she pushes open her bedroom door and “finds” me hiding in her closet or behind her crib.  Marley lets out a squeal and giggles uncontrollably, excited by her efforts!  She was in such a good mood last night.  I talked to her and told her about my day…and told her we needed to say some prayers.  We sat on the floor of her room and I placed her hands together to show her how it’s done!  And she sat there by me, looking up at me and smiling…………….now, those are the moments I am so grateful for!  That I can even be sitting there with her is reason enough to feel lucky!  Who cares about the fact that our house is just one remodeling project after another (though they never quite seem to get 100% finished), that I can’t get my crap together to actually FOLD the laundry once it’s clean and put it away, that I desperately need a bigger car (and a bigger house), that I so WISH I had a big double car garage to park that new , bigger car in (gotta love SW Minneapolis and their lack of garages), and all those other crazy things that sometimes make me feel sorry for myself!

Health…I have my health, my hubby is healthy, my baby girl is healthy, our dog is healthy, and so are our families (though we’re all a little crazy)!  That is MORE IMPORTANT than anything and so often taken for granted.  It’s the only thing that can really guarantee that our bodies will make it to tomorrow.  And for that, I am beyond grateful.  As I turned in for the night and told my hubby about all the sad things that seem to be happening lately, he said, “Be happy!  We’re ok.”  And we are…and I drifted off to a very peaceful sleep knowing that there are lessons to be learned from all of this and hopefully I can incorporate that in my day to day routine. 

This year for Lent, besides giving up sweets, I’m going to work extra hard at just being happy in the present moment.  Letting myself forget about all the un-important things I tend to dwell on (cleaning the house…seriously, I know I sound crazy but it is my number 1 cause of anxiety), and focusing on what is really important in this oh-so short life of ours.  What will you be giving up?

Happy Ash Wednesday!