XOXO!!

I feel a good cry coming on………maybe it’s because I’m overly tired.  A sick baby, one that has been sick for 12 days and waking every 2 hours at night, will do that to you.  Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like I don’t get enough time with JUST MARLEY………and it makes me so sad because she is growing up, more and more every day, right before my eyes.  And I just want to cuddle her and kiss her and tell her that mommy loves her just the same, if not more, than I always have.  Maybe it’s because I just got off the phone with my sister who is just getting to the hospital to wait for her dear friend to get out of surgery.  Her friend is 34.  She has cancer.  And it makes me sooooo sad.  She has these 3 beautiful little girls, and it makes me think of my own babies, and how having to go through something like that would be incredibly difficult. 

And so I’m sad………..life is just too short.  I feel like I won’t ever have ENOUGH time with the people I love.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH hugs and kisses from my Miss Mars.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH sleep, no matter what I do, and so I’m going to make the best of it.  The best of this crazy, beautiful, messy, amazing, sometimes painful, life that is MINE.  There really is no point to this blog post.  Writing it just makes me more aware of the ways in which I need to be more present in my own life.  How I need to keep taking these mental pictures of Marley when she does one of the hundreds of things that make me smile……..the way she is mastering jumping with both feet (it looks so silly), how she says, “Yeah, yeah” to everything (and how it’s a clear indication she is NOT listening to me, the way she looks at me when she’s being sarcastic…chin to her chest and looking up rolling her eyes, how she yells, “Love you” from her bedroom for about 5 minutes after I close her door at bedtime.  Man, I love that little girl.  Even the smell of her blanket.  It was laying in our bed the other day and I picked it up and thought about how it just smells like Marley...

I’m taking mental pictures of Jax too.  He is growing up so fast…not even a baby anymore.  But I try to remember all the things I love about him at this particular moment.  I mean, it’s everything, really.  As much as I love my sleep, I love rescuing my little man at night when he cries, sitting in his room, nursing him and rocking him back to sleep.  The way the little fingers of one of his hands sprawl out on my chest.  And his smell……..ahhhh, can I bottle it up?!  There just really is nothing more precious in my life than my babies.  Sweet little miracles and I can’t believe they are mine.  

So, if nothing else, I hope my family and friends know how very much I love them.....how I carry them in my heart, wherever I go.  I do my best to always say those 3 words.  To smooch my nieces and nephew and tell them I love them.  To lift them up like I did when they were babies, because it seems like just yesterday they were.  Hey, I'm a lover, what can I say?!  And that is exactly how I want my kids to be........warm, affectionate, kind little people that don't hesitate to say I LOVE YOU, and hopefully they say it often!

Anyway…….enough sappiness for one day!  Seriously!  How about this weather?!?!  Haha! 

My sister took a few pics of my babies this past weekend.  She’s gotten so busy with her photography biz and that makes me SO HAPPY!!  Doing something she loves, finally!  And bonus…….she snaps photos of the kids from time to time.  Amazingly sweet pictures!  If you have not been to her website yet, please check it out.  Heidi Kubes Photography!.  Newborns, maternity, family, senior pics…….she does it all, or will give it a try if she hasn’t yet!  She gave me a peek at a couple pictures of Marley and Jax.  Here they are…  

Happy Tuesday!!

Back To The Grind...

I returned to work on February 20^th after 12 blissful (and sometimes not) weeks of maternity leave.  There really isn’t too much to say about going back…it is what it is, I knew I’d be working again, and I was prepared for the sadness of having to leave my baby.  That being said, it was much easier the second go-round.  And it really boils down to the fact that I LOVE my daycare provider, she’s amazing, and knowing that I’d be leaving Jax with her had me completely at ease.  Marley didn’t start daycare until she was 15 months old (as some may know we were fortunate enough to have Uncle Jesse take care of her out of our home).  We were led to Robin through a good friend of mine.  BEST THING that ever happened to us and our kiddos!  Marley has truly blossomed at daycare and I know Jax will do the same, and that he will have lots of attention and love from Robin and the gang of girls that have become Marley’s “friends”!  Being that my children are little extensions of my heart, knowing that they are well cared for and loved when I can’t be with them is the best feeling ever!  Funny how your daycare provider becomes almost like a part of your family, a second mother to your kids...this is truly how I feel about Miss Ra Ra!!

The good thing about being back to work is getting back to our normal routine.  Term normal used very loosely.  Something about 2 kids has really made me feel like a MOM.  Getting outfits picked out the night before, remembering to thaw the breast milk for Jax’s bottles at daycare, setting the “delay brew” on my coffee pot (which I never did before), meal-planning/prepping like it’s my jobby job…….anything to make the next day go smoother.  It does take a lot of organization, but it has helped immensely and kept me sane these last 3 weeks!!  I've actually grown to love the feeling of Sunday.  Not the "going to work tomorrow" part, but the "Ahhh...my house is clean, my fridge is full, my week is planned" part!

Little Jax buddy, or Bubby, as we call him, is doing great!  He’s adjusting to daycare and developing more of a schedule.  He found his thumb while napping at daycare the other week and he couldn’t be happier!!  When he gets tired, he starts chewing on his fists and soon enough, he gets that thumb!  Go Jax!!  And we have to keep an eye on this one….he has rolled over both ways already.  Not consistently, but he’s capable of doing it.  Just the other day at naptime, I watched him fuss in his crib while laying on his tummy.  He rolled onto one shoulder and started scooting himself over with his leg.  In a matter of 30 seconds he had rolled onto his back, found the thumb, and fell asleep!  Little stinker!!

Marley is also doing great.  She is so long and lean.  Always on the go.  And into everything!  I remember going to a Jerry Seinfeld comedy act in Vegas with Travis about 4 years ago...Jerry started talking about his family and he said, "Yeah...we have a 2 year old at home.  I recommend you NEVER get one of those!"  I couldn't relate at the time, but now...oh man, do I get it!!  Marley has learned to scale the walls of her crib, so she’s no longer held captive by that space!  We’re having minor (sometimes major) discipline issues with her.  We just haven’t quite figured out what is effective…time outs don’t seem to mean anything to her.  In fact, I had her in a time-out this weekend (she kicked her brother) and I was explaining the reason afterwards.  I told her that we don’t kick people, that we use our feet for jumping and running and such.  And I told her that I expect that she be nice to her brother and that I expect that Jax be nice to her.  And then I said, “You need to remember to listen to mommy because I’m the boss!”  And she looked at me, pointed at her chest and said, “I BOSS!”  And I said, “No, you are not the boss, mommy is the boss!”  At which point she repeated, “No, I boss!”  Officially have my hands full with that little devil!!!  She is such a spit-fire!

To compare (because it's fun to ponder whether or not they look alike), here is a picture of Marley at 3 months and one of Jax at 3 months.  So different, huh?!

Marley Jean

Jax Thomas

   
Aside from the usual craziness that accompanies two kiddos, we're doing well.  Getting over a house full of sickness, a bad cold that moved from Marley to me to Trav, and finally to Jax.  I hate it when all of us get sick......no fun!  We have a pretty low key weekend planned, thankfully.  Catching up on some rest, dinner with girlfriends tonight, breakfast and 3 month photos of Jax baby at my sister's house on Sunday!  Yay!!  And we have even better things to look forward to in the coming months.  We're less than 60 days away from Auntie Brenna's wedding in Naples, which means first flight for Jax and Marley's big debut as FLOWER GIRL!!!  Can't wait!!


Hope you all have a fabulous weekend with your loved ones and ENJOY the beautiful sunshine-y weather!!


XO!
Stevie