TGIF!!

This picture is the basis of my blog post today. 

 

I’ve never felt pulled in so many different directions at once…..wanting to be here, needing to be there, feeling guilty, feeling sad.  Miss Marley was asleep when I ran out the door this morning.  I HATE not seeing her in the morning, but on about ½ of my mornings, that is the case.  Such is life.  Today, I had ran out to the car and was about to leave when I realized I didn’t have my keys.  I turned to walk back inside and I saw Marley…smiling at me out her bedroom window.  As I got closer to the house, I saw her mouth moving and she was saying, “I love you, mommy.”  And I about died.  So instead of heading back in just for my keys, I went to her bedroom, opened the door, and she was standing there with the BIGGEST smile.  She said, “I’m all done sleeping!”  And I sat down on the floor by her and hugged her and kissed her one too many times (if that is even possible).  We talked about our fun weekend plans.  Going for a walk tonight with daddy and Jax, an outing to the zoo, family movie night with popcorn…yay!  Marley and I have a morning date to go to the Mpls Farmer’s Market…..I told her we’d go get a bunch of fresh fruit and come home to make something yummy!  She requested we stop for a do-no (donut) on the way there and reminded me that, “mama need coffee!”  Yes, I will need coffee!  Can’t wait for a the weekend ahead! 

But back to my story about this morning…I drove to work feeling SO SAD.  I often am envious of the girls I know that stay at home with their babes.  Not envious because I think it’s easier than working……I’ve been home for almost 2 weeks in a row with both kiddos and I know it is NOT an easy job.  Being a stay at home mama, in my opinion, is just as hard as being a mama that works full-time out of the home.  What I’m envious about is all that EXTRA time that they get to see their babes.  The mornings that they get to spend having breakfast with them.  The play-dates, the fun outings, the trips to the pool, the ECFE classes.  I would love to have a little bit more time at home with my children.  More than the 2-3 hours I get with them each night after work.  It breaks my heart to think that I’m missing out on my babies growing up.  Missing so many smiles and hugs and kisses and laughs.  The bottom line, however, is that I know that I NEED to work.  Our family needs me to work.  And the benefits of my job are important to our household…..and in our family, they do outweigh the benefits of me staying home.  So, while I miss my little ones, I’ve come to terms with the roll I play in our family.  It doesn’t stop me from feeling heartbroken from time to time.  And it seems that summer is always harder than any other time of the year.  Let’s face it, being a mommy is no easy task and I’ve drawn inspiration and strength from all of my mommy friends, whether they stay at home or work out of the house.  We’re all in the same boat…raising our families, struggling with our own issues, trying to give everything we have to make our babes happy and healthy and secure.  Hooray to all you mama’s out there, for giving it your best everyday! 

But today…….today for me, I feel sad.  And I can’t wait to get home from work and just BE with my family.  Yea, with these guys.....

  

On another note, I found one of my old baby pictures last night and I actually think there is quite the resemblance between me and my little buddy.  What do you think???

 

Happy Friday to you all!  Wishing you a great weekend with the people you love!  Make it count!!  Here’s me being all “motivational speaker-like”, but my point is, don’t take anyone or anything you have for granted!  Love, love, love while you can!!!

Days like this...

Can’t a girl catch a break……seriously?!  Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?  Bad things happening everywhere you turn.  One set-back after another.  That’s ME right now.  Ugh!  And to top it all off with a big fat cherry on top, I get into a fricken accident on my way to daycare pick-up last night.  I never swear and I rarely even use the term “fricken”…so it’s an indication that I’m really mad and frustrated.  My phone must have been trying to lighten the mood because when I typed the word “fricken” into a text message to Trav, my spellcheck changed it to “frogmen”…as in, “Seriously, one frogmen thing after another!”  Whatever that means.  And then I thought, seriously, who would EVER use the term frogmen???  And I got a little more mad!  Anyhoo…I’m getting off track here.  My SWEET minivan now has a smashed in driver’s side door…..and to be quite honest, it looks a whole lot LESS COOL, if that is possible, than it did before. 

So there’s my rant for the day.  I’m lucky that I didn’t have the kids with me.  I’m lucky that I wasn’t on the highway and that it was just a side street and traffic was only moving at a mere 20 mph (which was really ticking me off because I was going to be late to daycare pick-up).  I’m lucky that my minivan is still functioning and that no one was hurt.  I’m lucky that the girl that hit me was driving a big old beat up Suburban and she said nothing happened to her car, because the accident was both of our faults. 

I’m lucky that my hubby can bear with my crabbiness and grumpy self sometimes when I get overwhelmed with all this crap that life throws at me…whew!  Thank God he is so great at diffusing anxiety or I’d be a walking time bomb!  He’s all, “We got this babe…it’ll be alright.  No worries!”  And I’m all, “The world is going to end.  Why me.  Stupid, stupid, stupid me.”  We’re a good match, you see. 

And good thing because we’ve got the monster to contend with…Miss Marley has been changing her own poopie diapers lately.  Yea, all by herself.  Last night was round 3 of what Travis and I have “coined” the Poop Massacre.  She came out of her bedroom, all smiling at me…and I look down at her and she looks like she is rubbing brown lotion all over her arms, up to her elbows, squishing it in between her hands like it’s soap.  I stopped dead in my tracks and my mouth fell open.  And then I looked in her bedroom.  Yea, let’s just say that was pretty fun (rd 1 and rd 2 cleaned up by Trav, poor guy).  All over her carpet.  All over her little nightstand.  Seriously, what is her obsession with poop.  As I was tucking her in last night I told her, “See Marley, your room stinks now.  Smells like poop.  Poop is gross and it belongs in the potty and we DO NOT touch it.”  And she said, “Momma, mell (smell)…ugh.  Gwoss.  Spway some of your fume (perfume).”  And so I did and then she was happy.  Please God, let her make it to the potty next time or else I might throw up.

And so it goes………life is never dull in my house.  No time to sit still and rest with the crazy bunch that I live with.  Good thing that Trav and I are eyeing up a trip this coming winter because MAMA needs a break.  A little mental health vacation where all I do is suntan and speak to my husband about things not involving Marley’s poop and Jax’s teething and car accidents and such.

Think I’ll go home tonight after taking care of this car repair business, hug the babies, put them to bed, pour a big ol’ glass of wine and just sit still for an hour or so, brainlessly watching Bravo or something…now, does that sound exciting or what?!

My babies...

Just an update on our crazy little family (mainly because I feel as though I’ve neglected Jax and his baby days—truth is, we’ve just been SO busy)…

Something about that 6 month mark with a baby that makes you feel like, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…I’m alive, I’m out of the dark, we’ve made it!!!  Because man, those first 4 months, and maybe 6, are tough!  I think the first 5 were miserable this go round because poor Jax was sick constantly.  Nothing too serious, but always a cruddy cold and cough that made all of us sleep-deprived!  Despite that on-going cold, Mister Jax is the world’s most smiley baby!  Seriously.  The kid can’t stop smiling!  And it’s like an all out, wide as his face, twinkly eyes kind of smile.  Infectious!  On Friday, my little man turned 7 MONTHS OLD……I’m not quite sure where the time goes, but it sure does fly!  He’s been crawling since about a week before his 6 month birthday, and he pulled himself up to a stand last weekend…milestones that Marley didn’t hit until she was 8 ½ months or so!!  At this rate, he’ll be walking come fall.  Oy vey! 

I truly do LOVE this baby stage…all the smiles, the peek-a-boos, the giggles, the drool, the curiosity.  He’s ALL boy, but he is SWEET!  Trav gets a bit frustrated because he is a total mommy’s boy!  If I walk out of the room, he can go from happy to a crying mess in about 5 seconds!  And as soon as I’m back in sight, he’s happy again!  Last week, my heart about melted when I went to hand him off to Trav and he VERY CLEARLY did the whole, lean into mommy/wrap arms around my neck thing…………awwwwwwwww!!!  I could’ve just eaten him up—my little sweet boy!

Here's what he is especially loving at the moment, besides MOMMY:

1.  The Batman song...Trav started singing it to him one day and he got so happy.  Now, if he hears, "Dun-a-nunna, dun-a-nunna, BATMAN" he breaks out in the biggest smile!

2.  Patty-cake & peek-a-boo!

3.  Sucking his thumb...this must be genetic, I swear!

4.  Marley, except I suppose when she pushes him over and then he cries...darn sisters!  His eyes are glued to her when she's around, curious as ever and wanting to be off and running with her!

5.  The apple and cinnamon puree I made for him!  Yum!  The boy loves to eat!!

6.  Bedtime.  7pm sharp.  He doesn't like to rock...just wants to eat and then he's ready to lay down, wide awake in his crib.  He does his whole "restless leg" re-arranging for a minute (must get that from his father) and then he's passed out!
 

Miss Marley continues to chatter away, get into trouble, and make friends with every spider, bug, toad, animal that comes her way!  A daredevil, to say the least.  But I am not going to get in the way of her and all her tomboy-ish bravery!  You go, Mars!!!  She’s all dirt and funny faces and jokester by day, and sweet, baby-loving, momma hugging girl by night.  She can’t fall asleep until I sing her “Rock-a-bye baby”!  And the other night, when we were getting ready to say our nighttime prayers, she starts off by saying, “Thank God…for ev-y-ting!”  Couldn’t have said it better myself, baby girl.  Wise beyond her years!

So we’re all good—busy, but great!  We have a couple crazy weekends coming up…trips to the cabin, a trip to Chicago to visit auntie Brenna (which we are soooooooo excited about), and another trip to Fifty Lakes, this time with all of my sister’s kids in tow.  I really wish I didn’t have to work all summer long, so I could just soak it all in! 

Wishing you all a fabulous and safe summer!