TGIF!!

This picture is the basis of my blog post today. 

 

I’ve never felt pulled in so many different directions at once…..wanting to be here, needing to be there, feeling guilty, feeling sad.  Miss Marley was asleep when I ran out the door this morning.  I HATE not seeing her in the morning, but on about ½ of my mornings, that is the case.  Such is life.  Today, I had ran out to the car and was about to leave when I realized I didn’t have my keys.  I turned to walk back inside and I saw Marley…smiling at me out her bedroom window.  As I got closer to the house, I saw her mouth moving and she was saying, “I love you, mommy.”  And I about died.  So instead of heading back in just for my keys, I went to her bedroom, opened the door, and she was standing there with the BIGGEST smile.  She said, “I’m all done sleeping!”  And I sat down on the floor by her and hugged her and kissed her one too many times (if that is even possible).  We talked about our fun weekend plans.  Going for a walk tonight with daddy and Jax, an outing to the zoo, family movie night with popcorn…yay!  Marley and I have a morning date to go to the Mpls Farmer’s Market…..I told her we’d go get a bunch of fresh fruit and come home to make something yummy!  She requested we stop for a do-no (donut) on the way there and reminded me that, “mama need coffee!”  Yes, I will need coffee!  Can’t wait for a the weekend ahead! 

But back to my story about this morning…I drove to work feeling SO SAD.  I often am envious of the girls I know that stay at home with their babes.  Not envious because I think it’s easier than working……I’ve been home for almost 2 weeks in a row with both kiddos and I know it is NOT an easy job.  Being a stay at home mama, in my opinion, is just as hard as being a mama that works full-time out of the home.  What I’m envious about is all that EXTRA time that they get to see their babes.  The mornings that they get to spend having breakfast with them.  The play-dates, the fun outings, the trips to the pool, the ECFE classes.  I would love to have a little bit more time at home with my children.  More than the 2-3 hours I get with them each night after work.  It breaks my heart to think that I’m missing out on my babies growing up.  Missing so many smiles and hugs and kisses and laughs.  The bottom line, however, is that I know that I NEED to work.  Our family needs me to work.  And the benefits of my job are important to our household…..and in our family, they do outweigh the benefits of me staying home.  So, while I miss my little ones, I’ve come to terms with the roll I play in our family.  It doesn’t stop me from feeling heartbroken from time to time.  And it seems that summer is always harder than any other time of the year.  Let’s face it, being a mommy is no easy task and I’ve drawn inspiration and strength from all of my mommy friends, whether they stay at home or work out of the house.  We’re all in the same boat…raising our families, struggling with our own issues, trying to give everything we have to make our babes happy and healthy and secure.  Hooray to all you mama’s out there, for giving it your best everyday! 

But today…….today for me, I feel sad.  And I can’t wait to get home from work and just BE with my family.  Yea, with these guys.....

  

On another note, I found one of my old baby pictures last night and I actually think there is quite the resemblance between me and my little buddy.  What do you think???

 

Happy Friday to you all!  Wishing you a great weekend with the people you love!  Make it count!!  Here’s me being all “motivational speaker-like”, but my point is, don’t take anyone or anything you have for granted!  Love, love, love while you can!!!