Lessons Learned

Lately I’ve been feeling out of sorts.  Not so much my usual happy-go-lucky self.  Seems as though the last few weeks have been gray and gloomy.  Lots of sadness in the lives of people I know…from a co-workers mother-in law passing away, another co-workers mom passed away, a good friends friend lost his 7 year battle with cancer at the age of 33, and I just heard of another high school classmate losing her newborn son.  And work has been oh-so stressful.  So, I’ve been feeling a little sad.  Wondering how one can possibly be lucky enough to live a long and healthy life, to keep their husband by their side long enough to really grow old together, and to never have to deal with the death of a child.  All of those things are, of course, out of my control and rather than focus on the sadness of the last week, I need to take hold of the life lessons that the week has presented.  Live in the moment, be grateful for all that you have, love unconditionally…

So I got home from work last night and scooped up my baby girl…and we played the night away.  We sat on the floor in her closet and tried on shoes (she loves to do that), we played hide and go seek…….which in our house is called the “See You Later” game.  Goes something like this…Momma stands in the living room with Marley.  I say, “See you later…” and proceed to hide in one of the other rooms (usually her room).  A moment later, she pushes open her bedroom door and “finds” me hiding in her closet or behind her crib.  Marley lets out a squeal and giggles uncontrollably, excited by her efforts!  She was in such a good mood last night.  I talked to her and told her about my day…and told her we needed to say some prayers.  We sat on the floor of her room and I placed her hands together to show her how it’s done!  And she sat there by me, looking up at me and smiling…………….now, those are the moments I am so grateful for!  That I can even be sitting there with her is reason enough to feel lucky!  Who cares about the fact that our house is just one remodeling project after another (though they never quite seem to get 100% finished), that I can’t get my crap together to actually FOLD the laundry once it’s clean and put it away, that I desperately need a bigger car (and a bigger house), that I so WISH I had a big double car garage to park that new , bigger car in (gotta love SW Minneapolis and their lack of garages), and all those other crazy things that sometimes make me feel sorry for myself!

Health…I have my health, my hubby is healthy, my baby girl is healthy, our dog is healthy, and so are our families (though we’re all a little crazy)!  That is MORE IMPORTANT than anything and so often taken for granted.  It’s the only thing that can really guarantee that our bodies will make it to tomorrow.  And for that, I am beyond grateful.  As I turned in for the night and told my hubby about all the sad things that seem to be happening lately, he said, “Be happy!  We’re ok.”  And we are…and I drifted off to a very peaceful sleep knowing that there are lessons to be learned from all of this and hopefully I can incorporate that in my day to day routine. 

This year for Lent, besides giving up sweets, I’m going to work extra hard at just being happy in the present moment.  Letting myself forget about all the un-important things I tend to dwell on (cleaning the house…seriously, I know I sound crazy but it is my number 1 cause of anxiety), and focusing on what is really important in this oh-so short life of ours.  What will you be giving up?

Happy Ash Wednesday!

First Fall...

My heart just about stopped beating this past Sunday...literally. 

We spent the weekend up north.  Lots of relaxation, yummy meals prepared by Kathy, and even a few walks outside in the most beautiful, freshly fallen snow.  Marley loves her toboggan rides at the cabin.  She loves wearing her sunglasses outside, and totally understands that they help keep her from squinting in the glare of the snow!  And she looks oh so fab in them!  My precious little girl...

We retreated inside to warm up from our walk, stripped Marley out of her snow gear, and I proceeded to ask Kathy how I should go about getting the stains out of Marley's white slippers that I let her tromp around outside in.  That's when it happened........my near heart-attack.  I heard thud-thud-thud.............panic.  The stairs are only 8 short steps away from the front door and I didn't check to make sure the gate was up (it wasn't).  I heard the noise and turned the corner just in time to see my baby girl crashing down the last step on to the first landing.  The stairs are carpeted, THANK GOD!!  I don't even know how I got to the bottom of the staircase, but I scooped her up and smothered her with kisses.  I think I went into shock...I was shaking and tears welled up in my eyes.  And within a minute, my tough little girl was walking around, carrying on as if the fall did not happen.  Seriously.  I examined her for bumps and bruises, and aside from a little bruise on her forehead and another on her foot, she was fine.  I kept asking her if she was ok..........which of course she was.  Just a moment later, she turned to scale the stairs back up.  Now, if I had just fallen down a flight of stairs I would have been scared to death of them.  Just my first lesson as to the resiliency and strength of our little ones, I'm sure.  But scary none-the-less.

Here are some photos of all the happy moments from the weekend (aside from the fall)...Travis has been working 18 hour days lately (or so it seems) and Marley enjoyed the un-interrupted cuddle time with Daddy this weekend.  She loves him so and I LOVE that!

Miss Marley Jean is 14 months old.
She has (almost) 8 teeth!
She can say dada, mama, Sasha, puppy, hi, bye-bye, what's that, and baba.
She's funny and sassy and silly and curious...I can see her little mind making connections between things, like her world is starting to make sense.
She still has no hair...
Loves to dance with mommy and this makes me melt!
And she LOVES shoes!  Really loves them!

Oh, how I love her with all my heart!

Daddy's Girl...

If Travis were to be any character on Sesame Street, who would he be???  If you know him at all, you'd have guessed COOKIE MONSTER!  I'm pretty sure there isn't a cookie out there that he won't eat.  His favorite, chocolate chip cookies made by his mom (I don't come close to Kathy's cookie making skills)!!  Second on that list would be M&M cookies, followed by Oreo's and Girl Scout cookies.  Which brings me to my story...

The other day, Trav came home from work with a cardboard box full of Girl Scout cookies.  Something like 20 boxes!  Geesh!  Thanks, honey!  Luckily, we just got BACK from Mexico and swimsuit season here is about 6 months away!  Side-tracked.  So, he had the cardboard box sitting on the floor in our spare bedroom...it's a dumping grounds for all the odds and ends that we don't have a "home" for.  Miss Marley quickly caught on that daddy was getting all the cookies from the box in that room and today, while making my morning coffee, I was greeted by this happy face strolling down our hallway...

She went for the Thin Mints...surprise, surprise.  Those are Trav's favorites!  I couldn't help but laugh at her.  Until moments later when she whined because I insisted that she eat breakfast BEFORE having a cookie.  So, I caved and she was a chocolatey, drooly, minty mess!  


After naptime, while I was putting away groceries, Marley found the box again...but this time, she pushed it all the way into the living room and was taking the boxes out one by one.  I usually don't feed her much for sweets, but hey, this girl obviously has a thing for Girl Scout cookies...

Happy Sunday!!  And yay for Girl Scout cookies!!!

A Little of Then. Thank God for Now!

We recently got back from our trip to Mexico...the weather was gorgeous, the food was excellent, and we had an amazing time, just the two of us!  I couldn't help but to remember back to the days when we were just Stevie Nicks and Travon (my nickname for Trav).  Before we were married, before we were homeowners, before we had Sasha, and before we became parents.  The good old days...nice to reflect on them and even nicer to look back and THANK GOD that we ended up where we are now!  For all of the bad decisions we made (especially me), it is nice to know that they all led us to this place...

Some of you may not know or remember, but Travis and I met up north.  I had just finished college at St. Ben's and a few of us were heading to Mara's cabin because, quite honestly, we didn't have jobs lined up and really didn't know what we would do with our lives now that college was over.  So, we packed up a car, stopped at the liquor store, and headed north to Fifty Lakes.  Next door to Mara's cabin was the Severson cabin, still partly under construction, but a beautiful lake home that I was sure was owned by someone very rich...haha!  There were a few guys at the cabin building a fence and as fate would have it, one of our guy friends knew the guy working next door, Travis.  What a small world.  He was from Minneapolis and had played hockey with a few of our guy friends from college.  The rest of the weekend I referred to him as my boyfriend!  Sadly, we didn't exchange phone numbers and I didn't know if I would hear from him again.  My friend, Annie, knew Travis and arranged for another get together in Minneapolis a few weeks later.  We hit it off and have been chasing after each other ever since!  Off and on for the first year, we just had some type of connection that couldn't keep us apart.  This is us, in 2004...about a year after we met!

It's so funny to see how YOUNG we look!  Trav hadn't even "filled out" yet...he was so skinny.  And me, well...I wasn't skinny!  Thankfully my days of bad skin and crazy colored eye shadows have come to a halt.  What was I thinking?!  

And for a bit of the now.  More mature (whew), more settled in our ways, much more responsible.  But we still have that old Stevie Nicks and Travon spark!  He makes me laugh...like crying tears, belly laugh.  And he drives me nuts sometimes.  Cleaning up after my mini tornado of a husband.  He STILL, after 6 years of living together, leaves drawers open after he takes clothes out of them, cupboard doors open after he grabs a plate, throws his jacket on the floor by the front door, leaves his clothes on the floor of the bathroom after a shower..............but it's him.  And those things that he does, those things are predictable and I like that about him.  He's a great daddy and a great, hard-working husband!  And hey, I'm sure I drive him plenty crazy!  

Here are a few pics from our trip to Mexico.  Oh, what a lovely trip it was!  I'm not usually one to show swimsuit pics, but I'm feeling comfortable in my own skin these days.  I'm not perfect and never will be!  I'm a wife and a mommy and more than anything, I'm proud that my body was able to grow a baby..........if that doesn't make you happy about your body, I don't know what will!  Little miracles!

Here's to hoping there is a speedy end to winter in our future!  I can't take much more of this cold and snow!  I want to be able to walk outside, to go to the park, and to bring Marley swimming at the cabin!

Happy Saturday!

xoxo

Stevie

Miss Mars the Comedian!

This girl is funny!!  She loves to make people laugh and has mastered being silly!  If I laugh, she laughs...if daddy isn't paying attention to her, she lets out a big, fake belly laugh to get him to look!  Goofball!!  Can't get enough of that dimple and her big, cheesy smile that shows off all those new teeth!

The Great Eight!!!

I'm talking about days!  Eight more days until the hubs and I are boarding an airplane and heading to Mexico...for 6 blissful days in the sun, sipping margaritas by the pool, catching a tan, strolling on the beach, SLEEPING IN!!!!  I'm soooooooooooooo excited!  Beyond excited, really!  We have not been on a warm weather vacation since our wedding/honeymoon in 2008.  We're due.........for a get-away that is!  

Click HERE to see where we are staying!  Jealous?  Thought so!  Hehe!

Now for the sad part...we are leaving Marley behind with Grandma Kathy!  Oh, gosh!  I am going to miss her so much, though I admit it will be lovely to be away with my husband for 6 days by ourselves!  And I know she is in very capable hands.  Grandma Kathy has been excited about this week for a very long time and they are going to have SO MUCH FUN!  On the plus side, Marley is sleeping through the night now and I feel like I can rest easier knowing she won't be waking Grandma up in the middle of the evening.  We even bought a crib to keep up at the cabin, so now going "Up North" will be so much easier!

This is a shout-out to my wonderful mother-in-law, for taking our sweet baby girl for the week so that Travis and I can catch up and relax and re-connect!  We sincerely appreciate your help and we wouldn't have been able to take a trip like this without you!  Thank you so much!!  We love you! 

A busy weekend ahead...Friday has turned out to be family errand night, which I love!  We pack Marley up and head out.  Maybe to the grocery store, maybe to Target, maybe to the mall...grab a bite to eat and then head home!  It's fun to be out and about, the 3 of us!  Tomorrow morning I am heading to my favorite hairstylist ever, Miss Justine, at Root Salon in St. Paul!  Getting my hair cut and colored!  My gray hairs are taking over!  Ugh!  And hopefully after Marley's naptime, I will head to the Mall of America with Angie for a little shopping...a few tank tops and such for the vacation!  On Sunday, I am heading to Faribault to have breakfast with my mom.  Then back home to make some snacks for the Super Bowl!  I'm not really in to watching the game, mostly the commercials.  But I am in to having a family night with appetizers for dinner and cuddling on the couch with my hubby and baby!

 Hoping you all have a safe and happy weekend!  

Lots of love,

Stevie  

Just a Moment in Time...

We're weaning.  And I'm sad.  It's not easy.  

On Sunday night, after I fed Marley a warm bottle and kissed her goodnight, I stood over my stove, making spaghetti sauce, and talked to Travis about how I felt such a sadness.  And a few tears rolled down my cheek as he told me how proud he was of me...for nursing Miss Marley for a whole year, for helping her to be the healthy baby that she is today, for saving us money (hehe) on formula.  And before you know it, I was sobbing.  Hands over my face, crying so hard that I could barely breathe.  I don't know why exactly.  But I do.  It started from the day she was born...struggling to breastfeed her because she couldn't latch on.  And shortly thereafter, she became a pro.  Such a good little eater.  I remember sitting in my rocking chair at home with her when she was only days old, my mom and sister sitting in the room with me, and literally falling asleep while I nursed her.  They asked me if I needed a nap and I said no.  I LOVED being with her!  We spent countless hours sitting together on the couch, in the dark living room, watching the early news...and by early, I mean 4am.  When her colic kicked into high gear at around 4 months, I soothed her to sleep.  I helped to calm her after all of the icky shots and trips to the pediatrician.  And I just look back and think...this darling little human being gained weight and grew up and learned to crawl and then walk, all because I nourished her tiny body.  And so I am proud of myself, very proud.  But I am sad too.  There is a sense of loss that I can't explain.  I know that we have forged a bond that will never be broken, but with the end of nursing comes a feeling, for me, that I am not as "needed".  And that breaks my heart in the tiniest of ways. 

And so this last year was just a short moment in time, but one that I will always remember.  Tomorrow morning, when I wake up and "feed" Marley for the very last time, I will soak it all in and remember all that we have been through together!  She is a big girl, strong and healthy, and ready to be on her own now!  I know she will do fine and I will always be very proud of this accomplishment.

As more proof of how well she is doing in the eating department...here is Miss Mars after what Uncle Jess calls THE SPAGHETTI MASSACRE OF 2011!!!  Love her!!!