Ten-Four...Breaker, Breaker?!?!

Happy Spring, err….whatever.  Whatever season this is.  I’m not quite sure.  Happy April!  How ‘bout that?!  Pretty sure we’re all suffering from seasonal affectiveness disorder by now…

Here I go, about to sound like a broken record, but life has been crazy lately.  Crazier than normal….or maybe it’s just the new normal.  I don’t know.  But I don’t like it.  I’m finding myself staring at my calendar, a mounting list of things to do, places to be, appointments to make (more things to do)….all on top of everything else…you know, working full-time and then some, being a mom to two little nut-jobs (thanks, Auntie….we love this term), holding down the fort, aka the house, trying-but-desperately-failing to be a good wife…….sometimes I feel like I’m sinking.  And I’ll just get this out there right now, NO, I’m not depressed.  I would not be afraid to admit to that.  I’m just trying to stay afloat in this pool of “stuff” that keeps pouring in……….more bills to pay, more projects at home, more decisions about kids/daycare/preschool, more GUILT about everything that I just can’t seem to get a handle on.  It’s overwhelming.  There.  I said it. 

Perhaps this is just life now.  But I wish it were simpler.  I wish it were less cluttered and chaotic.  I wish there wasn’t this NEED to be in every single place that you are ever invited to be…..and this NEED to fill every square of our calendars for the summer months with obligations.  The pressure…agggghhhhh!  Since when does “non-stop-busy-for-months-on-end-on-top-of-everything-else” = happiness??????

**Note:  I mean no offense to anyone that I have PLANS with this summer.  I’m just be honest about life right now.

Anyway….the point of this is not for anyone to feel sorry for me.  I’m venting.  Maybe you are in the same boat.  It’s not a very happy boat, so I’m sorry if you are here with me!  I’ve got a game plan to turn things around and it starts now.  Time to re-prioritize life.  Waste less time doing things that mean nothing.  Spend more time (uninterrupted) with my babies and my hubby.  Maybe even give some time to MYSELF…for me.  A weekly yoga class.  Time to read a book.  Craft.  Who knows????  For me, the most obvious 1^st step in making more time is disconnecting.  And so I’m going to…ya’all know I love me some social media.  But I’m saying good-bye for now.  To see how things go without the distraction, without the phone always in my hand--ready to snap a "shareable" photo at any God-given moment is not how I want to live my life.  My plan is to spend this early spring and summer cherishing my sweet little family…chasing frogs, jumping off the dock, snuggling by a bonfire, squeezing in a date night, praying that God decides to save Trav’s brother and cure him of his cancer (but in the meantime making lots of new family memories with him)…away from my phone, away from Facebook, away from the constant connection to the rest of this crazy universe!  I just want to re-set and re-commit to my family and myself.  It's been a long time comin'...

This is going to be my new motto for life!

 So...friends and fellow mamas, XO from me!  I'll miss all your updates but I'm off on a special mission!  I hope you all know that sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break.  This job of being a mama....it's tough, so tough.  Like, fall-on-the-couch-in-a-pile-of-tears tough.  I know, I did that last week and probably the week before.  But it's the single most important job on this planet!  YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!!!!! 

A beautiful day o' birth...

St. Patrick’s Day really doesn’t get any better than this year.  Trust me. 

Just when it seems like there is no good news and I’m ultra-stressed and overwhelmed with life, an unexpected phone call leads to something incredibly beautiful.  I was spending this past weekend at my mom’s with the kids as Trav was working on finishing our basement.  I woke up Sunday morning to a text from my brother, Zak, saying that Samantha’s water had broke and that they’d be going to the hospital shortly.  About a month prior, Samantha had asked my sister and I to be in the room with her when she gave birth.  What an honor.  So, with that news, Uncle Andy assumed daddy daycare (5 kids is no easy feat)…and my sister and I made the journey to Methodist Hospital in Rochester to await the birth of our newest niece or nephew! 

This isn’t MY birth story, so I will only say that it was simply beautiful.  I can’t even describe the “feeling” in the room.  I had always thought that labor/delivery was a private moment to be shared by husband and wife.  So many unknowns and maybe it was easier to be alone……?????  But Samantha proved me wrong.  If I could have a vaginal birth, that is how I’d want it to be.  It was magical.  A room full of people that LOVE them.  Five women (my sister and I, Zak’s mom, Sam’s mom, and Sam’s sister).  All mommies ourselves.  The hours passed.  We laughed and joked around and distracted Samantha from some of the pain…and though some moments were tougher than others for Sam, it just flowed and before we knew it we were witnessing a MIRACLE!!!  Samantha.  Rock Star.  This sweet girl that has been a part of our family since she and Zak started dating in what seems like middle school, like seriously, forever ago!  She became this rock star mommy!  She made it look easy.  The tears flowed and the room was THICK with love…so much love.  For Zak and Sam and for the new baby they had just welcomed into the world.  A perfect little girl that we will all love with all of our hearts for as long as we live.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  Amazing.  What a gift!!! 

It goes without saying that yesterday was my HIGH of the year.  Thank you to Zak and Samantha for letting all of us be a part of such a beautiful day.  I’m so proud of both of you!!  I won’t forget this St. Patrick’s Day…and I love that little Miss B to pieces!!!

Happy Friday!

Happy 2013…it’s February…already.  Where does the time go?  I mean, am I the only one that still feels like I’m 20??  Well, except for the house and kids and job and husband and all that other “grown-up” stuff.  Seems like yesterday that I was sitting at college with friends, deciding which happy hour we should hit up for free dinner.  Oh Lord, I do not miss those days.  The freedom, maybe.  But not all that unknown.  Not all the mistakes I made.  It’s good to be grounded.  To have roots.  To realize that everything in life worth living for requires time and attention and love.  And to realize too, that life is often hard.  Relationships are hard.  But that life is oh so much more fun when you’ve filled your “space” with family and good friends and keeping them close is WORTH the work, every ounce of it!

Ok, that is my rant for the day.  Just thinking about how life gets busy and schedules get hectic and people see each other less frequently.  It’s easy to have guilt over that.  I’m trying to let go of that guilt…..and to realize that however/whenever/wherever my girlfriends and I can squeeze in some time, it’ll be good and we’ll pick up where we left off.  Sounds cheesy, but it literally makes my heart happy just to see their faces!  Most of them have babies now, or are pregnant….and they “get it”.  This busy mom thing.  And as much as I love my babies, I do enjoy a night away with the girls, laughing over our stupid husbands (ok, they’re not stupid…but any woman with a husband knows what I’m talking about), mindless chit chat about kids, yoga pants, GOSSIP…all that good stuff!  So, cheers to friends!!!  And lots of love to my gal pals…I love you all!

Anyhoo, not really sure what my “point” was.  I write to write.  And today is Friday and I’m happy and I’ve had 2 cups of coffee.  AND I get a date night with my husband.  So it’s a good day!  And yeah, that mess my kids made last night in the living room.  The dust storm of soot and ashes (picture below)…

...well, I got it all picked up and we’re back in business.  When I say “I” got it all picked up, I mean that I put the kids to bed and poured myself a big glass of wine and stood looking at the mess and before long, Travis came home from work and cleaned up the mess with the shop-vac.  It is HIS shop-vac after all.  Our carpet was already gross.  I’d like to rip it out and start over.  But for now, I’ll just take a deep breath, smooch my babies and not care about my stained carpet because they don’t know it’s not perfect!  And if you happen to come to my house, don’t judge me.  It’s not clean like it used to be.  We have messy floors, smudges on all the appliances, crusted chunks of soggy cracker stuck on cupboard doors, crayon artwork on the walls, and a dining room table that has been well-loved by many a banging fork and spoon.  The laundry is often in piles on the floor and the windows are filled with tiny hand-prints.  And wet nose prints from Sasha.  Yeah, because this is how they all wait for daddy to come home each night...

  

We also have endless laughter, the sound of feet pounding through the kitchen, our own steel-drum band courtesy of some old pots and pans, booty shaking dance parties, wet kisses from babies that need us for everything.  The trade off is good.  Very good, indeed.  Because I get to see these faces each day. 

Can you believe they made that mess???

And so……a VERY HAPPY WEEKEND to all of you!  We have a fun one planned.  Date night tonight!  Skating with the kiddos tomorrow and lunch at Pizza Lola.  Super Bowl!  Then maybe I’ll work at cleaning up the house a bit.  Maybe… :)

3 Sweet Years!

The sweetest 3 years...

My sister took a few pictures of Marley today! We made the trip to her studio (it's amazing) and she captured the little miss just as she is...here is a peek!

21 Day Sugar Detox--Success!!!

I never thought I would actually be typing these words, but I DID IT!!!  I completed my first round (more on that later) of the 21 Day Sugar Detox.  And as Tony the Tiger said, “I feel grrrrrr-eat!”  Except he probably didn’t after eating those frosted flakes…just sayin’!

My journey with this whole gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, Paleo lifestyle began shortly after my second baby was born.  He was having some issues with acid reflux and so I brought him to my chiropractor to see if we could “fix him”.  She suggested that I remove all gluten and dairy from my diet in an effort to heal my gut, in turn healing him (since I was breastfeeding).  At the time, I didn’t know enough about those lifestyle changes to even consider them.  And so I gave him the baby zantac that my doctor had prescribed.  Long story short, he grew out of his reflux and I kept researching/reading about gluten-free diets, Paleo, etc.  I read the Primal Blue Print, and what finally pushed me over the edge was a Christmas gift…a box with the most beautiful book ever, Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfilippo.  I read that book cover to cover over the next couple days.  I had post-its all over the pages.  It moved from my coffee table, to my kitchen counter, to my nightstand.  Never out of sight.  Gosh, I love that book!

After linking up with the Balanced Bites facebook page, I heard of the 21 Day Sugar Detox and my sister and I decided to dive in on January 1^st.  I wasn’t so much looking for weight loss, but rather I wanted to feel better!  I was blaming my lack of energy on having 2 kids and a full-time job and a husband and a house to keep up.  I was eating like crap or not eating at all because it was “all I had time for”.  And I could feel it.  I felt lousy.  Tired.  Bloated.  Blah.

Five days in and I felt amazing.  Refreshed.  Energized.  And I stuck with it.  My sister and I gushed about how “easy” the recipes were because they involved so few ingredients.  For me, the success was due to careful planning as well.  Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I’ve been quite guilty of having “poor meal planning skills” ever since my life got so busy with babies!  I prepped each Sunday for the week ahead.  Made a meal plan, went to the grocery store, cut the veggies.  Not only did the 21 Days make my BODY feel great, my life feels less cluttered.  I have a grip on “feeding my family”, and that has been equally as satisfying. 

Other results…I began the 21 days already below my pre-pregnancy weight.  But I was “soft”…you know, the kind of soft that comes with the territory when you’ve had 2 kids.  The weight had come off, but I was a softer version of my old self.  And so I was happy to see that I lost about 4lbs on the detox.  More importantly, I lost 2 ½ inches off my waist, 3 ½ inches off my tummy (measured at my most problematic area, right below my belly button), and 3 inches off my hips.  What an added bonus!

So, thank you to the entire 21 Day Sugar Detox community!  I’m on my way to a healthier way of life (and my family too) and I couldn’t be happier!  And thank you to my sister for sticking to it with me...for being my motivation and for being someone that I had to be accountable to!  We did it!!!    

Donut Shoppe Success!

Marley's party was a hit! Thank you to my sister for grabbing some pics of the birthday girl in all her glory! She was a happy little sugar crazed miss...and she LOVED her donut earrings! Oh, Claire's. You think of everything "cheesy"...

Happy Birthday, Mars!

My Marley Jean…
Today is your 3rd birthday and what a completely awesome 3 years these have been. Never before would I have thought that I would love a little human being as much as I love you. I have had more fun these last 3 years, watching you grow and learn and explore, than I have ever had in my whole life. I wonder where the time has gone…not all that long ago you were so small. Just a chubby little miss with a very bald head and a big ol’ smile! And suddenly you stretched out. You grew into a string bean, actually! That smile remained, complete with the most adorable dimple! As for your hair, we’re still waiting on that, aren’t we?!

But besides growing up physically, you have become this little person that I just wouldn’t in a million years have imagined. You are so outgoing. You have a personality as big as Texas! You know what you want, and you know the rules, and what you want is more important than those silly rules! So brave, and stubborn, and strong-willed. And FUNNY!! You are a true comedienne in the making! A spotlight seeker and one who loves to “put on a show” and entertain a group! The little lady with a million facial expressions. You earned your nickname girl……MARLEY MONSTER! Some days you are more than I can handle. But beneath all that sass lies a sweet girl. My baby girl. The one who still wants me to sing rock-a-bye baby before bed at night. The one who yells out her door, “I love you soooooo much.” The one that gives the best kisses and hugs and takes care of her Bella baby as if she were real. The one that is constantly asking me if we can do something and always follows it up by saying, “Won’t that be fun?” I love laying on our bellies in the big bed, talking about plans, listening to your stories, hearing you tell me about your friends and new things you learned. You are so smart, kiddo.

I love you for many reasons….because you make me smile, because you make me laugh, because you are MINE. But I also love you because I know you are growing into an independent brave young lady, and that’s what I want you to be. I know that you’ll stick up for people and speak your mind and blaze a trail. And I want that for you. I want you to go after all your dreams, no matter how big or small. And to do it will all of your heart. Keep being your inquisitive, silly, frog-chasing, dirt loving little self and you’ll go places, my dear. I love everything about you, exactly how you are at this very moment.

Happy Birthday, doll face! We’re going to have fun today! And this is going to be a great YEAR!! I just know it!

XO,
Mama