Craziness & Random Tid-bits...

Sick in August??  Seriously.  Can’t a girl catch a break?  How am I supposed to tackle folding the growing mound of “clean” laundry while feeling like a complete piece of crap?  In a daze, ears popping, sore throat, just-enough-energy-to-get-through-the-day kind of crap.  But I have to do it.  As I was cleaning up the kitchen last night, I heard Travis and Marley talking in the basement.  I heard him turn the corner to the laundry room and then I heard him laugh!  He said something about the “clean” pile of laundry looking exactly like the big mound of “dirty” laundry.  He knew I could hear him and he said to Marley, “Tell momma she’s CRAZY!”  And Marley runs up the stairs and says, “Momma, you crazy girl!”  Haha!  You’d be crazy too, Marley, if you were doing laundry for a family of 4, one of which changes her outfits a MINIMUM of 4 times per day and also proceeds to dress her babies in clothes too.  So, counting Baby Bella, we’re technically a family of 5.  The laundry is out of control.  It is.  Laundry, you are the devil.  That’s all I have to say about that…

And you know what else is the devil?  Dog hair.  Ugh.  Bless her heart, I love my Sasha pup to the moon and back…but she is a shedding machine.  Little clusters of black lab dog hair everywhere.  What I hate the most is picking Jax up off the floor and he’s all wet, slobbery face and hands and dog hair is stuck all over his mouth and in between his fingers.  He’s oblivious to it, but just looking at it drives me nuts and makes me itch! 

Am I a crabby pants today or what??  Just sick of being sick and in need of a vacation……good thing I’m off for a week in September!  Perfect timing!  Miss Marley has been good at keeping me laughing when I’m being grumpy mama.  Girl never disappoints.  She’s walking around with the thermometer the other day and she says, “Better take my temperature.”  She sticks the thermometer under her arm and a second later says, “WOW!  79!  Yep, 79!”  And I couldn’t help but laugh.  Poor girl would be dead if her temperature was 79.  And then I thought, how does she even know what number seventy-nine is???????? 

She’s really big into agreeing these days, always saying, “I like that too.”  Or pointing out something that she likes, marshmallows, for example.  Calls them “maa-shows” and she LOVES them.  We were playing on the floor in Jax’s room after bath time the other day and she points to Jax’s privates and says, “Mama, what is that?”  And I responded and told her it was Jax’s penis.  I’ve never been one to make up silly names for body parts.  Just call it what it is.  She looks at me and says, “I like penis!”  Shut.  The.  Front.  Door!!!  I mean, what do you say to that?  How do you respond?  I just laughed and shook my head!  And thought, ok…moving on.  New subject! 

I tell you, navigating this twisty-curvy-tangled road of parenting is not always easy.  How will I always know what to do?  Or what to say?  Or how to discipline?  Or how to explain things in a way they will understand?  Hmmmmm????  Guess I’ll just fly by the seat of my pants and cross my fingers that they turn out ok!  And I suppose I’ll say a prayer for myself, that I can guide them as best I can to be polite, sweet, humble, honest little human beings.  That’s all I ask!  Fingers crossed ;-)

On a bright note…the poop escapades of last month seem to have subsided.  I woke up the other morning to Marley’s voice on the monitor.  She was yelling for me.  And I went to her room and she was sitting on the floor, new diaper in one hand, box of wipes in the other, and she said, “Mama, I went poop.”  And I thanked her for telling me before going on a wipe-poo-on-the-walls rampage.  Then, as I changed her diaper, I said, “Icky poop!”  And her response?????  “That’s a deuce, mama!”  Great.  I just love it when her father teaches her things.  You know, like really important things.  Like to call her poop a deuce.  Yep, that will impress the boys later in life.  Perfect….sigh…(crossing fingers again, this time for daddy…he needs help, hehe)!!!

And so here we are, back at Monday.  Ugh!  But come on, it’s State Fair time!  This has me quite excited!  It’s a tradition for us to go every year, probably a tradition for most Minnesotans, and as we’ve grown our family, it’s gotten to be more fun!  Looking forward to our first fair adventure with Jax…he had his fair share of cotton candy and Sweet Martha’s and deep-fried pickles last year while he was in my tummy.  I suppose this year won’t be quite as fun because he’ll just have to watch all the yumminess…but I do know a spot with some amazing peach frozen yogurt parfaits.  There’s hope, Jax buddy!! 

Jax is standing, by the way.  Standing.  By himself.  Oh, I love him!!

Those thigh rolls aren't too bad either!

TGIF!!

This picture is the basis of my blog post today. 

 

I’ve never felt pulled in so many different directions at once…..wanting to be here, needing to be there, feeling guilty, feeling sad.  Miss Marley was asleep when I ran out the door this morning.  I HATE not seeing her in the morning, but on about ½ of my mornings, that is the case.  Such is life.  Today, I had ran out to the car and was about to leave when I realized I didn’t have my keys.  I turned to walk back inside and I saw Marley…smiling at me out her bedroom window.  As I got closer to the house, I saw her mouth moving and she was saying, “I love you, mommy.”  And I about died.  So instead of heading back in just for my keys, I went to her bedroom, opened the door, and she was standing there with the BIGGEST smile.  She said, “I’m all done sleeping!”  And I sat down on the floor by her and hugged her and kissed her one too many times (if that is even possible).  We talked about our fun weekend plans.  Going for a walk tonight with daddy and Jax, an outing to the zoo, family movie night with popcorn…yay!  Marley and I have a morning date to go to the Mpls Farmer’s Market…..I told her we’d go get a bunch of fresh fruit and come home to make something yummy!  She requested we stop for a do-no (donut) on the way there and reminded me that, “mama need coffee!”  Yes, I will need coffee!  Can’t wait for a the weekend ahead! 

But back to my story about this morning…I drove to work feeling SO SAD.  I often am envious of the girls I know that stay at home with their babes.  Not envious because I think it’s easier than working……I’ve been home for almost 2 weeks in a row with both kiddos and I know it is NOT an easy job.  Being a stay at home mama, in my opinion, is just as hard as being a mama that works full-time out of the home.  What I’m envious about is all that EXTRA time that they get to see their babes.  The mornings that they get to spend having breakfast with them.  The play-dates, the fun outings, the trips to the pool, the ECFE classes.  I would love to have a little bit more time at home with my children.  More than the 2-3 hours I get with them each night after work.  It breaks my heart to think that I’m missing out on my babies growing up.  Missing so many smiles and hugs and kisses and laughs.  The bottom line, however, is that I know that I NEED to work.  Our family needs me to work.  And the benefits of my job are important to our household…..and in our family, they do outweigh the benefits of me staying home.  So, while I miss my little ones, I’ve come to terms with the roll I play in our family.  It doesn’t stop me from feeling heartbroken from time to time.  And it seems that summer is always harder than any other time of the year.  Let’s face it, being a mommy is no easy task and I’ve drawn inspiration and strength from all of my mommy friends, whether they stay at home or work out of the house.  We’re all in the same boat…raising our families, struggling with our own issues, trying to give everything we have to make our babes happy and healthy and secure.  Hooray to all you mama’s out there, for giving it your best everyday! 

But today…….today for me, I feel sad.  And I can’t wait to get home from work and just BE with my family.  Yea, with these guys.....

  

On another note, I found one of my old baby pictures last night and I actually think there is quite the resemblance between me and my little buddy.  What do you think???

 

Happy Friday to you all!  Wishing you a great weekend with the people you love!  Make it count!!  Here’s me being all “motivational speaker-like”, but my point is, don’t take anyone or anything you have for granted!  Love, love, love while you can!!!

Days like this...

Can’t a girl catch a break……seriously?!  Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?  Bad things happening everywhere you turn.  One set-back after another.  That’s ME right now.  Ugh!  And to top it all off with a big fat cherry on top, I get into a fricken accident on my way to daycare pick-up last night.  I never swear and I rarely even use the term “fricken”…so it’s an indication that I’m really mad and frustrated.  My phone must have been trying to lighten the mood because when I typed the word “fricken” into a text message to Trav, my spellcheck changed it to “frogmen”…as in, “Seriously, one frogmen thing after another!”  Whatever that means.  And then I thought, seriously, who would EVER use the term frogmen???  And I got a little more mad!  Anyhoo…I’m getting off track here.  My SWEET minivan now has a smashed in driver’s side door…..and to be quite honest, it looks a whole lot LESS COOL, if that is possible, than it did before. 

So there’s my rant for the day.  I’m lucky that I didn’t have the kids with me.  I’m lucky that I wasn’t on the highway and that it was just a side street and traffic was only moving at a mere 20 mph (which was really ticking me off because I was going to be late to daycare pick-up).  I’m lucky that my minivan is still functioning and that no one was hurt.  I’m lucky that the girl that hit me was driving a big old beat up Suburban and she said nothing happened to her car, because the accident was both of our faults. 

I’m lucky that my hubby can bear with my crabbiness and grumpy self sometimes when I get overwhelmed with all this crap that life throws at me…whew!  Thank God he is so great at diffusing anxiety or I’d be a walking time bomb!  He’s all, “We got this babe…it’ll be alright.  No worries!”  And I’m all, “The world is going to end.  Why me.  Stupid, stupid, stupid me.”  We’re a good match, you see. 

And good thing because we’ve got the monster to contend with…Miss Marley has been changing her own poopie diapers lately.  Yea, all by herself.  Last night was round 3 of what Travis and I have “coined” the Poop Massacre.  She came out of her bedroom, all smiling at me…and I look down at her and she looks like she is rubbing brown lotion all over her arms, up to her elbows, squishing it in between her hands like it’s soap.  I stopped dead in my tracks and my mouth fell open.  And then I looked in her bedroom.  Yea, let’s just say that was pretty fun (rd 1 and rd 2 cleaned up by Trav, poor guy).  All over her carpet.  All over her little nightstand.  Seriously, what is her obsession with poop.  As I was tucking her in last night I told her, “See Marley, your room stinks now.  Smells like poop.  Poop is gross and it belongs in the potty and we DO NOT touch it.”  And she said, “Momma, mell (smell)…ugh.  Gwoss.  Spway some of your fume (perfume).”  And so I did and then she was happy.  Please God, let her make it to the potty next time or else I might throw up.

And so it goes………life is never dull in my house.  No time to sit still and rest with the crazy bunch that I live with.  Good thing that Trav and I are eyeing up a trip this coming winter because MAMA needs a break.  A little mental health vacation where all I do is suntan and speak to my husband about things not involving Marley’s poop and Jax’s teething and car accidents and such.

Think I’ll go home tonight after taking care of this car repair business, hug the babies, put them to bed, pour a big ol’ glass of wine and just sit still for an hour or so, brainlessly watching Bravo or something…now, does that sound exciting or what?!

My babies...

Just an update on our crazy little family (mainly because I feel as though I’ve neglected Jax and his baby days—truth is, we’ve just been SO busy)…

Something about that 6 month mark with a baby that makes you feel like, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…I’m alive, I’m out of the dark, we’ve made it!!!  Because man, those first 4 months, and maybe 6, are tough!  I think the first 5 were miserable this go round because poor Jax was sick constantly.  Nothing too serious, but always a cruddy cold and cough that made all of us sleep-deprived!  Despite that on-going cold, Mister Jax is the world’s most smiley baby!  Seriously.  The kid can’t stop smiling!  And it’s like an all out, wide as his face, twinkly eyes kind of smile.  Infectious!  On Friday, my little man turned 7 MONTHS OLD……I’m not quite sure where the time goes, but it sure does fly!  He’s been crawling since about a week before his 6 month birthday, and he pulled himself up to a stand last weekend…milestones that Marley didn’t hit until she was 8 ½ months or so!!  At this rate, he’ll be walking come fall.  Oy vey! 

I truly do LOVE this baby stage…all the smiles, the peek-a-boos, the giggles, the drool, the curiosity.  He’s ALL boy, but he is SWEET!  Trav gets a bit frustrated because he is a total mommy’s boy!  If I walk out of the room, he can go from happy to a crying mess in about 5 seconds!  And as soon as I’m back in sight, he’s happy again!  Last week, my heart about melted when I went to hand him off to Trav and he VERY CLEARLY did the whole, lean into mommy/wrap arms around my neck thing…………awwwwwwwww!!!  I could’ve just eaten him up—my little sweet boy!

Here's what he is especially loving at the moment, besides MOMMY:

1.  The Batman song...Trav started singing it to him one day and he got so happy.  Now, if he hears, "Dun-a-nunna, dun-a-nunna, BATMAN" he breaks out in the biggest smile!

2.  Patty-cake & peek-a-boo!

3.  Sucking his thumb...this must be genetic, I swear!

4.  Marley, except I suppose when she pushes him over and then he cries...darn sisters!  His eyes are glued to her when she's around, curious as ever and wanting to be off and running with her!

5.  The apple and cinnamon puree I made for him!  Yum!  The boy loves to eat!!

6.  Bedtime.  7pm sharp.  He doesn't like to rock...just wants to eat and then he's ready to lay down, wide awake in his crib.  He does his whole "restless leg" re-arranging for a minute (must get that from his father) and then he's passed out!
 

Miss Marley continues to chatter away, get into trouble, and make friends with every spider, bug, toad, animal that comes her way!  A daredevil, to say the least.  But I am not going to get in the way of her and all her tomboy-ish bravery!  You go, Mars!!!  She’s all dirt and funny faces and jokester by day, and sweet, baby-loving, momma hugging girl by night.  She can’t fall asleep until I sing her “Rock-a-bye baby”!  And the other night, when we were getting ready to say our nighttime prayers, she starts off by saying, “Thank God…for ev-y-ting!”  Couldn’t have said it better myself, baby girl.  Wise beyond her years!

So we’re all good—busy, but great!  We have a couple crazy weekends coming up…trips to the cabin, a trip to Chicago to visit auntie Brenna (which we are soooooooo excited about), and another trip to Fifty Lakes, this time with all of my sister’s kids in tow.  I really wish I didn’t have to work all summer long, so I could just soak it all in! 

Wishing you all a fabulous and safe summer!

The Times They Are A-Changin'...

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Indeed they are.  AND I love this song……..though it’s talking about something much deeper than just my LIFE CHANGES, it still is something that I can relate to at this point in my life.  Growing up, letting go, learning to change and adapt or be forever lost in the growing hustle and bustle of life these days.  Becoming more patient, more understanding, more sympathetic, more accepting……..all good things when you are raising two young babes! 

This is going to seem totally silly, but I’m having an especially hard time letting go of one thing in particular….my car.  Was it an awesome car, you ask?  No.  Well, awesome to me, a person who really could care less about what kind of car I drive as long as it gets me from A to B.  I’ve never been a car person and never will…….it’s just not something that I VALUE in the least.  Awesome because of all the memories and moments it represents to me.  As I was driving the car to work on Thursday, I got all choked up thinking about trading it in.

I remembered back to when Travis bought the car.  The day stands out in my mind…he picked me up and took me out to lunch that day to “show it off” and I was smitten (with him and the car)!  And I remember a few years later, when Travis told me that it was best for me to drive it (as his construction business required a much bigger vehicle) and so we transferred the title into my name……I thought it was the coolest thing!  And then just a few short years later, Travis staged our Engagement Weekend Scavenger Hunt in which he had me driving all the way up to Ely, MN in that car, clues hidden along the way.  He proposed that weekend and it’s been almost 4 years since!  What comes after is the part that really gets to me…we brought our BABIES home from the hospital in that car.  And our Sasha pup, too.  So to me, it is so much more than “just a car”……..it is part of all of those wonderful memories and for that reason, I am sad to see it go.  Travis said I’m crazy and that we will make new memories in the new car……and I know we will.  Our family has grown and we’re TOO BIG for that little car, though it hasn’t stopped us from packing into it like sardines, two car seats, Sasha, Mom, Dad, weekend gear, and heading to the cabin on several occasions.  It was a great car and when I look back to think of our family years from now, I will remember that car as a very special part of WHO WE WERE….

And so I say good-bye to our trusty Oldsmobile Aurora!  We’ll miss you! 

And a big HELLO to my new ride……oh yeah baby, I’m a minivan mom now (Chrysler Town & Country).  Don’t be a hater, this van is SAAAAAAWEEEEEEETTTTT!!  Reminds me of the Toyota Sienna commercials and the mom singing....."Straight owning bake sales with my cupcake skills!  I'm better with the money, so I handle the bills.  I always buy in bulk, ain't afraid of no spills and every Mother's Day proves.......I'm kind of a big deal!!"  

Oh, this is the GOOD LIFE!!

 

XOXO!!

I feel a good cry coming on………maybe it’s because I’m overly tired.  A sick baby, one that has been sick for 12 days and waking every 2 hours at night, will do that to you.  Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like I don’t get enough time with JUST MARLEY………and it makes me so sad because she is growing up, more and more every day, right before my eyes.  And I just want to cuddle her and kiss her and tell her that mommy loves her just the same, if not more, than I always have.  Maybe it’s because I just got off the phone with my sister who is just getting to the hospital to wait for her dear friend to get out of surgery.  Her friend is 34.  She has cancer.  And it makes me sooooo sad.  She has these 3 beautiful little girls, and it makes me think of my own babies, and how having to go through something like that would be incredibly difficult. 

And so I’m sad………..life is just too short.  I feel like I won’t ever have ENOUGH time with the people I love.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH hugs and kisses from my Miss Mars.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH sleep, no matter what I do, and so I’m going to make the best of it.  The best of this crazy, beautiful, messy, amazing, sometimes painful, life that is MINE.  There really is no point to this blog post.  Writing it just makes me more aware of the ways in which I need to be more present in my own life.  How I need to keep taking these mental pictures of Marley when she does one of the hundreds of things that make me smile……..the way she is mastering jumping with both feet (it looks so silly), how she says, “Yeah, yeah” to everything (and how it’s a clear indication she is NOT listening to me, the way she looks at me when she’s being sarcastic…chin to her chest and looking up rolling her eyes, how she yells, “Love you” from her bedroom for about 5 minutes after I close her door at bedtime.  Man, I love that little girl.  Even the smell of her blanket.  It was laying in our bed the other day and I picked it up and thought about how it just smells like Marley...

I’m taking mental pictures of Jax too.  He is growing up so fast…not even a baby anymore.  But I try to remember all the things I love about him at this particular moment.  I mean, it’s everything, really.  As much as I love my sleep, I love rescuing my little man at night when he cries, sitting in his room, nursing him and rocking him back to sleep.  The way the little fingers of one of his hands sprawl out on my chest.  And his smell……..ahhhh, can I bottle it up?!  There just really is nothing more precious in my life than my babies.  Sweet little miracles and I can’t believe they are mine.  

So, if nothing else, I hope my family and friends know how very much I love them.....how I carry them in my heart, wherever I go.  I do my best to always say those 3 words.  To smooch my nieces and nephew and tell them I love them.  To lift them up like I did when they were babies, because it seems like just yesterday they were.  Hey, I'm a lover, what can I say?!  And that is exactly how I want my kids to be........warm, affectionate, kind little people that don't hesitate to say I LOVE YOU, and hopefully they say it often!

Anyway…….enough sappiness for one day!  Seriously!  How about this weather?!?!  Haha! 

My sister took a few pics of my babies this past weekend.  She’s gotten so busy with her photography biz and that makes me SO HAPPY!!  Doing something she loves, finally!  And bonus…….she snaps photos of the kids from time to time.  Amazingly sweet pictures!  If you have not been to her website yet, please check it out.  Heidi Kubes Photography!.  Newborns, maternity, family, senior pics…….she does it all, or will give it a try if she hasn’t yet!  She gave me a peek at a couple pictures of Marley and Jax.  Here they are…  

Happy Tuesday!!

Back To The Grind...

I returned to work on February 20^th after 12 blissful (and sometimes not) weeks of maternity leave.  There really isn’t too much to say about going back…it is what it is, I knew I’d be working again, and I was prepared for the sadness of having to leave my baby.  That being said, it was much easier the second go-round.  And it really boils down to the fact that I LOVE my daycare provider, she’s amazing, and knowing that I’d be leaving Jax with her had me completely at ease.  Marley didn’t start daycare until she was 15 months old (as some may know we were fortunate enough to have Uncle Jesse take care of her out of our home).  We were led to Robin through a good friend of mine.  BEST THING that ever happened to us and our kiddos!  Marley has truly blossomed at daycare and I know Jax will do the same, and that he will have lots of attention and love from Robin and the gang of girls that have become Marley’s “friends”!  Being that my children are little extensions of my heart, knowing that they are well cared for and loved when I can’t be with them is the best feeling ever!  Funny how your daycare provider becomes almost like a part of your family, a second mother to your kids...this is truly how I feel about Miss Ra Ra!!

The good thing about being back to work is getting back to our normal routine.  Term normal used very loosely.  Something about 2 kids has really made me feel like a MOM.  Getting outfits picked out the night before, remembering to thaw the breast milk for Jax’s bottles at daycare, setting the “delay brew” on my coffee pot (which I never did before), meal-planning/prepping like it’s my jobby job…….anything to make the next day go smoother.  It does take a lot of organization, but it has helped immensely and kept me sane these last 3 weeks!!  I've actually grown to love the feeling of Sunday.  Not the "going to work tomorrow" part, but the "Ahhh...my house is clean, my fridge is full, my week is planned" part!

Little Jax buddy, or Bubby, as we call him, is doing great!  He’s adjusting to daycare and developing more of a schedule.  He found his thumb while napping at daycare the other week and he couldn’t be happier!!  When he gets tired, he starts chewing on his fists and soon enough, he gets that thumb!  Go Jax!!  And we have to keep an eye on this one….he has rolled over both ways already.  Not consistently, but he’s capable of doing it.  Just the other day at naptime, I watched him fuss in his crib while laying on his tummy.  He rolled onto one shoulder and started scooting himself over with his leg.  In a matter of 30 seconds he had rolled onto his back, found the thumb, and fell asleep!  Little stinker!!

Marley is also doing great.  She is so long and lean.  Always on the go.  And into everything!  I remember going to a Jerry Seinfeld comedy act in Vegas with Travis about 4 years ago...Jerry started talking about his family and he said, "Yeah...we have a 2 year old at home.  I recommend you NEVER get one of those!"  I couldn't relate at the time, but now...oh man, do I get it!!  Marley has learned to scale the walls of her crib, so she’s no longer held captive by that space!  We’re having minor (sometimes major) discipline issues with her.  We just haven’t quite figured out what is effective…time outs don’t seem to mean anything to her.  In fact, I had her in a time-out this weekend (she kicked her brother) and I was explaining the reason afterwards.  I told her that we don’t kick people, that we use our feet for jumping and running and such.  And I told her that I expect that she be nice to her brother and that I expect that Jax be nice to her.  And then I said, “You need to remember to listen to mommy because I’m the boss!”  And she looked at me, pointed at her chest and said, “I BOSS!”  And I said, “No, you are not the boss, mommy is the boss!”  At which point she repeated, “No, I boss!”  Officially have my hands full with that little devil!!!  She is such a spit-fire!

To compare (because it's fun to ponder whether or not they look alike), here is a picture of Marley at 3 months and one of Jax at 3 months.  So different, huh?!

Marley Jean

Jax Thomas

   
Aside from the usual craziness that accompanies two kiddos, we're doing well.  Getting over a house full of sickness, a bad cold that moved from Marley to me to Trav, and finally to Jax.  I hate it when all of us get sick......no fun!  We have a pretty low key weekend planned, thankfully.  Catching up on some rest, dinner with girlfriends tonight, breakfast and 3 month photos of Jax baby at my sister's house on Sunday!  Yay!!  And we have even better things to look forward to in the coming months.  We're less than 60 days away from Auntie Brenna's wedding in Naples, which means first flight for Jax and Marley's big debut as FLOWER GIRL!!!  Can't wait!!


Hope you all have a fabulous weekend with your loved ones and ENJOY the beautiful sunshine-y weather!!


XO!
Stevie