12 Hours and Counting...

It's about all that separates me from the dreaded Monday morning doctor appointment...the appointment that we scheduled on Friday afternoon, just in case I didn't go into labor this weekend.  Seems like a long shot at this point that labor will begin in the next 12 hours as I'm feeling not one ounce differently than I was on Friday, aside from just being really uncomfortable (and dealing with a cold that my little Mars gave to me...thank you bunny)!  

So, here I am...a tinch over 41 weeks.  I cannot even believe I just wrote those words.  41 weeks!!!  On one hand, I'm mad at myself for obsessing over due dates, which are meaningless and do nothing but force women into fixating on a particular day in time, a day that in no scientific way can be pinned down.  And that day comes and goes for so many of us...which in turn causes us to obsess over when the baby is going to be born, over every new sign and symptom, literally watching the hours tick by.  I'm not going to lie, each time I stand up, whether it's getting out of bed or getting up off the couch, I'm secretly hoping there is a gush of water...because then I will know, yes, the baby is coming!!!  Exhausting to say the least!


As many of you may know from having read my blog, I was desperately wanting to VBAC with baby #2.  I really, really, really wanted to experience actually "birthing" my baby vs. having another c-section....the thrill of the pain, the pushing, the BRAND NEW baby laying on my chest.  I wanted to experience that.  And my hopes of doing so are getting lower and lower by the minute.  At each of my last 4 weekly doctor appointments I was not dilated at all.  My appointment 3 days ago was no different, only this time, since I was coming up on being a week overdue, we had to really discuss what that meant for me.  In my particular situation, being that I'm trying to VBAC, there really is NOTHING they can do to induce labor unless I am dilated.  So, in order to be induced (membranes stripped, water broken, pitocin given, etc), I need to at least be dilated to a 1 or 2.  They cannot use Cervidil (which would help me dilate) on a VBAC patient as it has been shown to quadruple the rate of uterine rupture.  That being said....tomorrow is a big day.  IF I do not go into labor tonight (doubtful), I'll head to my appointment at 11am and first stop is ultrasound.  They are going to check the levels of amniotic fluid, monitor baby's movements, estimate his size, and take a peek at the placenta.  After the ultrasound, I'll head up to my OB's office for a non stress test, where they'll hook me and baby up to the labor/delivery heart rate monitor to see how he's doing.  Both the ultrasound and the non stress test will help to determine how urgently baby needs to come out.  In all reality, there are 2 outcomes...

1.  If I am dilated tomorrow, my OB will check me in to the hospital either that night or Tuesday morning and she'll break my water (the safest way to induce a VBAC patient).  

2.  If I'm not dilated, we'll be scheduling a c-section, for either that night (if there is a concern about baby's well-being based on the tests) or for Tuesday.

In my eyes, the likelihood of a repeat c-section seems definite.  I just have very little hope that labor will begin, or that I'll be dilated tomorrow (I'm being a negative Nancy, I know).  And on one hand, I'm saddened by this...........like I said, I so wanted to avoid the repeat c-section route and felt very positive about my chances at being successful in delivering this little guy.  On the other hand, I selfishly think I should have just scheduled the c-section, as I would have had my son 3 weeks ago already, and I wouldn't have had to go through all of this torturous waiting.  I've already had 1 c-section, and throughout this entire pregnancy, I've always told myself that whatever happens, happens.  I didn't feel any less connected to Marley because she was born via c-section, we had no troubles nursing, she's healthy as a horse.............but I wanted to experience birth the other way too.  To not be drugged and groggy, to not have the incision in my stomach, to not have to wait 45 minutes until I held her...


And that's my story.  People have been wondering when baby is coming...and that is about all I know!  I guess on the bright side of things, I will be meeting him very soon, one way or another!!  I had a mini sob-fest last night because I just want to see him so very badly!!  And Travis keeps trying to tell me that we'll meet him in a matter of days, and since this is likely our last child, I should enjoy the last few moments of being pregnant (he knows that eventually I will miss it again...........but for now, I'm all complainer)!  I do need to put it into perspective, but it's easier said than done.


In related news, we couldn't be more ready for the little guys arrival.  I did not work at all last week.  Never thought I would start maternity leave BEFORE having a baby, but with the way Thanksgiving fell, and my due date, it worked out perfectly.  Of course, it would have been nice to have baby mid-week last week...instead I had the whole week off and in between WAITING, I accomplished a lot of things that I wouldn't have had I been working.  I took naps, we got the house decorated, spent LOTS of quality time with Travis and Marley, and my house is more clean than it has been in a long time.  I organized cupcoards, cleaned out drawers, worked on craft projects that had been sitting around for WAY TOO LONG.....it was a very productive week and I needed it.  And it was nice, being that I've been uncomfortable, to be in the comfort of my own home...away from work, from traffic, from the hustle and bustle that is everyday life.  I made coffee at home, picked Marley up early from daycare, knocked off some of our Christmas shopping.......overall, a great week!!


This morning I had the pleasure of hanging out with Angie, Marley's godmother and one of my dear friends...she was so sweet to treat me to a pedicure as she knows I'm at the end of my rope and thought it would perk me up a bit, which it did!!  Plus, she knew that the last pedicure I had was about 3 weeks ago, when I was "sure" the baby would arrive any day!  So now I have pretty, sparkly red toes.........all ready for a hospital stay!!  Thank you, Angie!!  Love you to pieces!!


While I was off getting pampered, Travis took Marley to run some work related errands.  He bundled her up, snowboots and all, and off they went in his big van.  She was so happy to be heading out with Daddy for the day....his little side-kick!  When they returned, I had just gotten home and Marley was all tuckered out from her morning of "work"......eating donuts and dancing and silly face-making with dada.  It's funny how alike the two of them are!  She makes all of his funny facial expressions and is just a little ham!!  

A few camera picks taken over the last week or two, just to show you what we've been up too!  Hopefully the next blog post will be to show off pictures of baby Jax!  Can't wait for the world to meet him!

Marley's stocking...I almost have it finished!!  The ivory silk flower was in my hair on our wedding day and her first pair of Joyfolie shoes will hang from the hanging loop with ribbon!

Sasha's ornament for 2011

Little lady can't keep her hands off the tree :)

Marley's ornament that she made at daycare!!  She is so proud of this one...she even picked out where she wanted it to hang on our tree!

The tree!!!!

40 Weeks and my best sad face!!

41 Weeks.........it's about time!

Can't believe this pretty girl is almost 4 years old (in February)!!

Silly I know, but I got these boots for my birthday from Trav and I am just in love with them.....I was so happy that it snowed in the last 2 days because I got to bust them out!!  Love, love, love big ol' clunky, practical, warm, waterproof snow boots!!!

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!

XOXO!!

Baby, baby...where are you???

Another week goes by and still no baby.  Patience is running low.  My house is clean.  Hospital bags are packed.  Laundry is done and put away.  Bills are paid.  The nursery is ready.  I’m ready…and now we WAIT.  Ugh!  This has got to be the WORST part! 

In the back of my mind I keep thinking about IF I had opted for the repeat c-section, I’d be at the hospital today, meeting this little man.  Sounds tempting, no?!

If you hadn’t guessed, no new news at my doctor appointment on Friday.  No progression made.  His head is still “engaged”…and that is painful enough.  I’ve been having an increased amount of contractions, but obviously nothing that is getting me any closer to meeting this little man.  I spent the weekend relaxing, cleaning, nesting, bouncing on my exercise ball….the usual!  And here we are…boo to another Monday morning at WORK!!  I would much rather be at home, or better yet, at the hospital. 

In the event that baby Jax does not make his appearance in the next few days, the plan is to finish off the work week (which is just Monday-Wednesday) and then call it quits for 12 weeks.  If it were solely up to me, I’d probably keep working right up until the very last second…but Travis is getting a bit worried about me being away from home these days.  He thinks that when women go into labor it is like an instant gush of water everywhere, that I’m instantly in terrible pain, and that I have absolutely no fore-warning of all of this happening……basically, a big old natural disaster.  And I suppose it could be that way, but highly unlikely!

My next doctor appointment is this Friday.  I’ll be 39 weeks and 6 days…………..hoping something happens before then, but we’ll see.   

It's pretty bad when even Marley senses my frustration.  As I buckled myself into the car Sunday morning, I let out a big sigh (sigh of relief that I made it, because getting out the door and into the car and situated is no easy task these days).  All of a sudden I heard another big sigh from the back seat and turn around to find Marley smiling at me.  She totally copied me.  I took another deep breath and let out another sigh, and sure enough, she looks at me, smiles, and says, "Uggghhhhhhhhhhh!"  My sweet baby girl!!!  Gotta love her!

Happy Monday…….sigh! 

Ready, Set, Go!!! Fingers Crossed!

I’m trying to have patience, really, I am.  Patience to get me through these last 12 days, which I suppose could be more than 12, though I really HOPE not!!  I’m working on “trusting” in the fact that my body knows when it’s time to give birth, and that there is nothing I can do to make it happen any earlier.  Yet still, every day I wake up wondering if today will be the day.  I over-analyze every little sign and symptom that labor may be starting.  I convince myself that yes, today I feel a little bit different, so that MUST mean something is about to happen.  Crazy what the mind can do, but all I can say is that I’M READY!!!  COME OUT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO LITTLE GUY…THE EARLIER THE BETTER!!

Sister and Mom to the rescue this past weekend…I’ve been struggling these last few days.  Tired and dealing with a sick baby…makes for MORE EXHAUSTION!  So, my sister called Friday morning and asked if she could come pick up Marley and take her for the weekend, bless her :)  As if her house isn’t crazy enough with 3 kiddos!  I had a wave of guilt wash over me for letting Marley go, because the weekends are really all I get with her!  I felt bad sending her off to stay with someone else, but knew that I NEEDED a break and rest was the only way I was going to get better.  Turns out that having a child-free weekend really was a good thing…..at my doctor appointment Friday afternoon, they diagnosed me with a sinus infection and ear infection, prescribed me a very low dose of antibiotics, and sent me home with strict orders to REST!  Impossible to do with an almost 2 year old!

Auntie Heidi came to get Marley at around 6:00pm on Friday night, and she was all happy smiles taking off in a car packed with her cousins!  As for me…I was actually able to sit and do nothing, which I haven’t done in forever!  We ordered pizza, made a fire, and watched Gold Rush (Trav can’t get enough of this show).  Unfortunately, the night time nausea kicked in and all I could eat was 1 piece of cheese bread……but hey, I’m trying not to complain.  I got a good night sleep, woke up and watched about 4 hours of The Rachel Zoe Project marathon while drinking coffee (can you say lazy), and took a nap!  We ran to Ikea later that afternoon and were able to pick up the last few things we needed for the nursery, and then stopped at Champs for buffalo chicken fingers (craving them)!  We had every intention of actually watching a movie for once, but we ended up hanging out in the living room, watching mindless TV in front of the fireplace…Travis working on a bid for a side job and me, doing yoga stretches on the floor, trying to coax baby to “come out” already!!

My mom and Scott drove Miss Mars back home to us on Sunday morning and I was SO HAPPY to see her.  It was weird being at home all weekend and seeing her bedroom empty!  She was happy to be reunited with her toys and Sasha……and her DADDY!  She’s obsessed with Travis!!  The rest of the day on Sunday was spent napping, running errands, stocking the cupboards/fridge with groceries, finishing up laundry, putting the finishing touches on the nursery……..I even got my hospital bag packed and the infant car seat is ready to go!  Feeling prepared but my mind still races with more tasks to add to my to-do list!

Back to my doctor appointment…it was uneventful, to say the least.  No weight gain, which she said is normal in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  And nothing else is going on in terms of dilation/effacement.  Baby’s head is “engaged” in my pelvis, and that is about it.  I’m measuring 40 weeks and she sent me away with my prescription and a tip to relax, because this could be my last weekend without baby.  Oh please, let that be true!!

A rare, bare-belly photo...me and baby Jax at 38 weeks:

I’m hoping this week will be the week…….and I don’t have any plans made, just in case.  I’m taking Friday off, mainly because the weeks are just getting to be too long for me.  I also go back to the doctor that day, but fingers crossed I’ve already checked into the hospital (haha)!  I’m planning on taking some photos of the nursery this week, and I’ll post them so that everyone can see where baby Jax will be sleeping!  Just can’t wait to meet this little guy!

Wishing you all a great week…….it’s almost Thanksgiving, I cannot believe it!  Today I’m thankful for my family (especially for the help my mom/sister provided this weekend…..I appreciated the break so very much), and even more THANKFUL for my wonderful husband who works harder than ANY MAN I know and is truly the glue that keeps our family together and moving ahead!  How lucky I am to have him in my life and for our children to be blessed with such a wonderful male role model.  I can’t imagine my days without you, Travis!!

I Heart Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!!

We had a really great weekend of Halloween related activities with Miss Mars...she is just so much fun and so stinkin' funny that I can't get enough of her.  Smarter and smarter everyday...she's turning into quite the chatterbox, and into little miss independent.  We have a stubborn one on our hands, sad but true.  On Saturday morning, we headed off to Marley's last session of fall swimming lessons at the YMCA.  Travis asked her in the morning who she wanted to swim with that day, and her response was, "Daddy!"  Good choice, Mars...momma was not feeling like stuffing myself into a swimsuit that morning!  Girls got my back!!  She was kicking and swimming and splashing up a storm, having so much fun!  Loved the lessons and we'll be back for the next level come early spring! 

We headed to the 50th and France Pumpkin Festival after swimming for a bit of trick-or-treating.  It really was more like Marley bull-dozing people on the sidewalk and trying to touch other kids costumes, which was fine, but she ran out of steam really fast!  She's probably a bit too young for the whole trick-or-treating stuff, but it was fun to get her out and about...and I may be biased, but she was the CUTEST COWGIRL ever!!!!

Marley had a Halloween party at daycare today.....and it seems that she had tons of fun!  We baked/frosted cookies together on Sunday (what a mess) and packed them up in little bags for her to give to her friends at "school"!!  I guess I didn't realize that this whole making sugar cookies and frosting them process takes, what seems like, an eternity!  I feel like I spent ALL DAY making cookies!  The finished product turned out nicely, though I disagree with the 15 minutes that Martha Stewart told me to bake my cookies for...they were overdone and when Trav sampled them, he looked at me and said, "I chipped my tooth!"  He was only half-joking..........thanks hubby!  This is why I don't bake more often, unless it's bars, but they usually don't require any actual time spent in the oven!!  You'll notice from the photo that I have a little cookie thief on my hands...

Pumpkins galore..........pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bellies, pumpkin carving!  My sister stopped over on Saturday night and suggested we paint my belly into a pumpkin!  I didn't do this when I was pregnant with Marley, though I was 31 weeks along with her at Halloween and certainly could have.  So, I thought, what the heck...........and off to Jo-Ann's we went for some soy paint (good for people, as the bottle states...what it didn't state is that it will not wash out of my favorite pair of black yoga pants which are pretty much my uniform these days).  Just as we started painting my pumpkin belly, Marley insisted on having hers done too...and patience, well, she doesn't have any, so auntie painted Miss Marley first.  I was pleased with the end result!

 

Our pumpkin carving session on Sunday night was really more about Marley acting like a silly girl with daddy...we had to side-line the actual carving until after she went to bed!  They are so cute together though and it amazes me how much she just ADORES him!!!!  I mean, it doesn't amaze me...I knew he would be a great father, but I just love the way they are together and LOVE even more how much they love each other!

 In pregnancy news...we’re nearing the finish line and I’m definitely feeling BLAH!  I’m just plain exhausted…much more so this time around.  Sick of my aching lower back.  Sick of flipping from side to side at night, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in.  Sick of being out of breath, which in turn makes me feel like a big pile of crap.  Even more sick of stuffing my big ol’ belly into my car and struggling to buckle up.  It’s getting to the point where I almost HATE anything tight on my stomach, and let’s face it…..all my clothes are tight at this point.  I get uncomfortable just looking at my maternity jeans, you know, the ones that have the full belly panel.  That panel just screams, “If you wear these, your tummy will be itching all day long!”  Nothing like the feeling of stretching skin!  Just the other day, I decided to break out my furry Ugg boots.  These ones happen to have laces that you have to wrap around the boot and tie……..and let me tell you, BAD CHOICE!  I spent 10 minutes getting the boots on and was sweating, to the point I had to go stand outside (in the 40 degree weather) to cool down a bit before continuing my “getting ready” routine.  As I was driving to work, I realized I was going to need Trav’s help to get the stupid boots off at the end of the day.  Probably won’t be wearing those again anytime soon.

Ok………enough complaining!  Seriously!  I have a lot to be thankful for.  No serious complications with this pregnancy.  Baby is growing and thriving, maybe even ahead of schedule.  At my appointment today, Doc J informed me that I'm still measuring 2-2 1/2 weeks further along that I "technically" am.  She did an ultrasound and confirmed that baby boy is HEAD DOWN (key in order for me to VBAC) low in my pelvis...a good sign, and that he is, as she said before, a BIG BOY!  She basically told me to be prepared because everything is moving right along.  He's dropped and I'm having contractions everyday...but it's still likely a couple weeks away!  Crossing my fingers that I'm not still pregnant in December, but if I go a week late, that's going to be the case!  I’m just anxious and excited…both to meet this little guy and to sleep on my stomach again, though I know sleep is going to be harder to come by than ever in a month or so.  Here's the side view of my baby bump at 36 weeks..............yikes!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

xoxo,

The Severson Clan

TGIF

Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  I think I’m finally done being lazy…and my need to NEST has set in.  Organizing kitchen cupboards, cleaning hall closets, purging junk.  It’s all I can think about.  And no matter how bad my back hurts or how tired I am (let’s face it, I feel like an exhausted piece of crap these days), I can’t be stopped.  I even stayed up until midnight on Wednesday…folding, sorting, and arranging freshly washed baby boy clothes into his new dressers.  Baby boy was a kicking, moving, jabbing monster that day.  I think there were about 6 hours straight of constant movement, painful at times.  And I don’t know if any of you have had this happen, but when I woke up in the morning and got dressed, my belly was TOTALLY different!  I had gotten used to my high shelf of a stomach, compressing my lungs…forcing me to easily lose my breath during the most leisurely of strolls.  As I looked down at my tummy Thursday morning, I could not believe how LOW my belly was.  I literally dropped overnight.  This never happened with Marley, so it was new to me!  When I got to work, the ladies commented on how low my belly looked……….so weird!!

I had my doctor appointment yesterday, in which I explained to Dr. J that I thought baby had dropped.  She confirmed that he is head down in my pelvis…….a very good thing in my attempt to VBAC.  Marley was so tightly breech that the doctors laughed at her “spring-board” legs when she was born.  Every time they tried to measure her length and stretch out her little legs, they would spring back up like a frog.  Losing my train of thought here, but Dr. J measured me and I’m measuring 2 weeks bigger than I actually am…this really doesn’t mean a whole lot, but she did laugh when I said, “He’s HUGE!”  She confirmed that yes, he is a big boy already and that there is very little room for him in my big ol’ belly.  Tell me something I don’t already know, doc!  As I walked out of her office, telling her that I really hope these last 6 weeks fly by, but that of course I do not want to deliver too early, she said, “38 weeks…let’s get to 38 weeks.”  By that time, I’m probably going to give birth to a toddler!  Joking…only joking.

Time to get cracking on finishing that to-do list and cleaning up my house.  But there are busy weekends ahead…we’ll pick away at the nursery a bit more this weekend, but I’m also hoping to get Marley to some type of fall festival.  We may hit up the MN Zoo and get our pumpkins.  Marley’s swim lessons are going great and we’ll be back in the pool tomorrow for another one!  Can’t believe how much 35 minutes in the water (being held no less) can tire out a kiddo! 

My favorites from our photo shoot with the amazingly talented Auntie Heidi:

Happy weekend!!   

Heart Melter...

Sometimes, getting woken up in the middle of the night can be oh-so-sweet.  While I am happy that my little girl is such a good, independent sleeper, there are times I WISH I could hold her in my arms until she drifted off…like the days when she was just a baby (the days that seem so far away already). 

Last night at about 2am, I woke to the sound of Marley crying on the monitor.  This hasn’t happened in about, oh, 8 months or so.  Instead of giving Travis a shove to get out of bed, I barrel rolled out, made one of my many nightly stops at the bathroom, and walked down the hallway to Marley’s door.  I debated going in, thinking maybe she’d stop, but then I heard her say, “Mama, mama.”  And in I went…

Now I know re-adjusting her in her crib was probably all that was necessary, but I thought…nah, I’m picking her up and we’re going to cuddle.  I lifted her out of her crib, grabbed her blanket and lovey, and she instantly pressed her cheek to my cheek, wrapped her arms around my neck, and fell asleep.  I sat with her in the rocking chair for about 20 minutes…she draped her long legs over my belly (while little brother kicked away inside), drooled a puddle on my shoulder, and every so often she would unknowingly play with my hair.  Before I laid her back down, she moved her head off my shoulder to look at me, and she gave me a big smooch.  My heart melted.  Best 20 minutes spent awake at 2am...EVER! 

She can grow and change and learn all she wants (and I want those things for her), but she’ll always be my BABY!!  I was in love with her before we even met...