Sometimes I
feel like a total mom-failure…for many reasons, but mostly because of my severe
lack of time. Darn job gets in the way of EVERYTHING, I swear!
Between work and sick kids and sick me (ugh) and Trav’s crazy work schedule and
the upcoming months filled with holidays and both kids birthdays and our
anniversary, I have no time for things like cleaning the house, laundry,
finishing craft projects, etc. Yep, not even time to carve pumpkins with
my kiddos on Jax buddy’s 1st Halloween this year…..how’s that for a
total MOM FAIL?! No bueno, my friends.
I’m sure
many of you read that sweet little blog post from a mama that talks about how
“maybe next year” she’ll have time for x, y, and z. And I relate to her
completely. I’m in that spot right now, smack dab in the middle of what I
told my mom is the “depths of hell” with my children—not that I’m saying life
with my children is hell, but that we are at the most
difficult/time-consuming/challenging stages with the kids. Jax NEEDS me
for EVERYTHING. He has separation anxiety when I get out of sight and has
this cry, it’s this very particular cry, and all it means is, “Mama, pick me
up.”
And then
there is Marley. So opinionated and stubborn. Her favorite word is,
you guessed it, NO!! She can go from sweet little girl to Marley Monster
in about 1 second. I can see the change happen in her eyes. She
challenges me on everything. So many battles in our day…especially at
bedtime. Her excuses for not going to bed are endless (and
hilarious). The other night, for example. I tuck her in, she has
all her friends, she’s gone potty, had a drink of water, brushed her
teeth….I’ve covered my bases. I say goodnight and kiss her and leave her
room. Moments later she’s at her door (she doesn’t open it) saying,
“Mama, I can’t see. I can’t see my room.” So I go back in her room
and she has turned her nightlight off and she giggles at me, I turn it back on,
tuck her back in, and leave. I hear her shuffling around in her dresser
and then she goes back to her bed. Then, “Mama, I can’t find my
sock.” She wasn’t wearing socks when I put her to bed. So, we turn
the lights on, go through her blankets and find the missing sock. And
after all that, she decides that she doesn’t want to wear them anyway. I
kiss her and say goodnight. “Mama, oh no, I lost my earring.” So I
go in and sure enough, she pulled it out and we can’t find it. I tuck her
back in and she says, “You smell like a chip, what you got in there?”
Points to my mouth. I said, “Well, baby girl…mama is hungry. I
haven’t eaten dinner yet and it’s 9:30pm.” Followed by, “I’m hungee
too!” And that is where I draw the line…I tell her that she has a really
big day ahead of her and she’ll need to rest up. Then I head to the kitchen,
get myself a bowl of multigrain Cheerios, and call it a night. Give
myself another check mark for mom-fail…not being able to coordinate a “family
dinner” time when I’m home alone with the kids at night. Sometimes it’s
just easier to not eat!
Which
brings me to Travis…oh, my poor sweet hubby. He’s working 16-18 hour
days. So busy with his “day” job, working for his dad, and then slammed
with side jobs. He has streaks like this and he looks exhausted and ready
to collapse. But he keeps his head up and just says, “When it rains, it
pours.” Of course, I miss him (and his help with the kids at night)…but
the wheel keeps spinning and he is our rock that keeps our world moving
‘round.
It doesn’t
get much busier or crazier than our house. And when the going gets tough,
it’s so easy for me to say how much all this go-go-go just stinks. But
I’m quickly reminded of how fortunate we are and that kind of “brings me back
to earth”…we are lucky to have good jobs and a roof over our head and food to
eat. Great extended families and friends. Health benefits.
Most importantly, we have been blessed with 2 wonderful children, and not a day
goes by that I don’t look at them and thank God that they are mine.
Marley and Jax…they just amaze me. For all the craziness you two bring to
my life, you pay me back 1000 times over with your hugs, smiles, laughs, and
snuggles. I’ll never in a million years be able to adequately express how
much I love my babies and how much my life has changed, for the better, because
of them. And so, as we do at this time of year, I’m reflecting on all
that I have to be thankful for…all my blessings, big and small.
I’m sure
that we’re all in the same boat when we look ahead to our upcoming
calendars. Busy months ahead with holidays and family get-togethers.
This year, we are hosting the Severson family for Thanksgiving at our
house. Just a few short weeks later, we’ll celebrate JAX BUDDY’S 1ST
BIRTHDAY!!! We actually have tickets to Disney on Ice that night,
December 6th! I’m sure Marley will get WAY more out of this
family outing than anyone, but hey…it’s going to be fun!! And Jax will
get his Cookie Monster party on December 8th! Can’t believe my
little man is going to be 1…oh boy! Soak it up, mama...that's what I keep telling myself.
And don't forget...in just 45 short days Christmas is upon us! My FAVORITE time of year! Followed in January
by Miss Marley’s 3rd birthday! Keep the craziness
coming!!
Happy
November to all of you! Wishing you all a fabulous Thanksgiving filled
with family, friends, food, pajamas (hey…I’m especially thankful for pajamas or a good pair of yoga pants, oh and wine,
can’t forget the wine)!!
XO!
