sunset walk...

Marley and I managed to sneak out of the house last night for a stroll around the lake that is in our back-yard.  More nature preserve/pond.  Less lake.  But it's about 1 mile around and the perfect little adventure for a 4 year old.  It feels like Riverbend Nature Center (for all my Faribault friends) nestled in the city...and I love it.

 
Travis coerced Jax to play "shoot the monsters" in his bedroom and off we went...sometimes the girls need a little alone time.  Bella had to come too.  I mean, she is one of the girls after-all.  After being cooped up all winter LONG (emphasis on the long), it felt good to get out and do a little sight-seeing in the neighborhood.  The ducks were swimming.  Kids were playing.  And we were strolling...

It was the first time that I felt like, wow, we are having a real life, big kid conversation.  I'm all HERE.  Marley looks free...she was happy to walk slowly with me.  To stop to re-adjust Bella in her stroller.  To race (mama cannot win)!  I let her pick the paths we'd walk on and she stopped to sit on every big rock she laid eyes on.  Then she asked if she could pick up some rocks to bring home for her brother...

We had a conversation about how we had slept on the floor of her bedroom the night before.  It went something like this...

Me:  Sleeping on the floor probably wasn't a good decision.  I didn't sleep that well.
Mars:  Yea...sleeping on the ground is not good.  We should have stayed in the big bed.
Me:  I know.  But you didn't feel good and I didn't want to wake up Jax and Daddy. 
Mars:  Mama, that was my bad decision then.  I'm sorry.  I asked you to come sleep in my room with me.

Heart melts.

She just blows me away with how grown up she is.  As much as I refer to her as my crazy little girl...because she is silly and funny and sometimes nuts...she is a cuddly little lover of a girl, who loves sunglasses and rainboots and lipgloss and her mama.....and Spider-man too.

Enough babbling...just thinking how last night was the perfect reminder to slow down and enjoy what you have.  Slow.  Down.  Do it.  You don't need to have your kids signed up for every activity known to man and race from place to place all day, every day.  Stressful for you = stressful for your kids.

My mission this summer is to s l o w  d o w n.  What's yours??

XO!!

a work in progress...

I realize it has been about 6 months since my last blog post.  Which happens to coincide with the fact that it has been just over 6 months since Trav's brother passed away...and well, you know, time got away from me.  Returning to the grind of normal, every day life, had me searching for more...more of what?  I wasn't quite sure.  More hope.  More love.  More patience.  More quiet moments to just sit in my own thoughts.  More strength to "mother on"...in the depths of the storm and sadness and life that just doesn't ever slow down.  More God...

More God was exactly what I needed in my life.  I didn't need Him to GIVE me things...material things and the like.  I needed Him to sit quietly with me in a dark room as I rocked Jax back to sleep for the 100th time in the middle of the night.  I needed Him to reassure me that everything would be ok.  And that if it wasn't ok, to teach me that this is all a part of His plan anyway.  I needed Him to guide me in raising my children with as much love that I possibly can.  To guide me through my most difficult days of motherhood and to let me know that I'm doing alright.  I needed Him for a million different reasons and when I opened up to let Him in, He has never once failed me.

I started following a website/blog called SheReadsTruth.  It is an online community of (mostly) women who come to their page daily to read God's word.  I'd say it's an online Bible Study, but in a very beautiful, easy-to-follow format.  One of the verses we studied this week was Joshua 1:9 and it could not be more perfect for how I'm feeling.

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

How much better do you feel having read that?  I mean, to KNOW that He is with you wherever you go.  Hard times.  Through tears.  And laughs.  And heartbreak.  Through your birth and your death.  I think it's pretty cool.  And it makes me happy to know that God always has my back...because I certainly can't do all that I do without Him.

I'm not trying to sound like I've gone for a ride on the Bible banging crazy train...but you know what?  There is no harm in letting Him in to your life.  Since I have put more of my trust in Him, I've been a happier mama.  I've had more patience.  I've kept my "reactions" in check because my mind is turned to Him and He is LOVE!  So that is exactly what I want to be...especially for my kids!  And it's baby steps...I started talking to Him more.  Believing in Him more.  Giving Him my problems.  Attending worship services.  And this blog/bible study thing over at SheReadsTruth is honestly eye-opening.  Really because it helps me so much to actually UNDERSTAND what it written in the Bible.  To put names to the stories and to be led through guided prayer...because let's face it...prayer and meditation and confession don't come easily to everyone.  They don't come easily to me.

So...I've been working the last 6 months at being a better person.  Letting go of things that I just can't control.  Realizing that kids will be kids.  Striving to always put the work in to my marriage and not get sucked in to the quick-sand that is parenthood!  We've been BUSY!

We celebrated the kids birthdays in December (Jax) and January (Marley)...we got away to Mexico for a week in February (just me and Travis)...and we've made significant progress on the basement remodel, slated to be complete by fall!  Just picking away at this little house of ours...

Wishing you all a happy weekend!  Snow is melting.  Sun is shining!  Life is good!

XO!

Stevie