XOXO!!

I feel a good cry coming on………maybe it’s because I’m overly tired.  A sick baby, one that has been sick for 12 days and waking every 2 hours at night, will do that to you.  Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like I don’t get enough time with JUST MARLEY………and it makes me so sad because she is growing up, more and more every day, right before my eyes.  And I just want to cuddle her and kiss her and tell her that mommy loves her just the same, if not more, than I always have.  Maybe it’s because I just got off the phone with my sister who is just getting to the hospital to wait for her dear friend to get out of surgery.  Her friend is 34.  She has cancer.  And it makes me sooooo sad.  She has these 3 beautiful little girls, and it makes me think of my own babies, and how having to go through something like that would be incredibly difficult. 

And so I’m sad………..life is just too short.  I feel like I won’t ever have ENOUGH time with the people I love.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH hugs and kisses from my Miss Mars.  I won’t ever have ENOUGH sleep, no matter what I do, and so I’m going to make the best of it.  The best of this crazy, beautiful, messy, amazing, sometimes painful, life that is MINE.  There really is no point to this blog post.  Writing it just makes me more aware of the ways in which I need to be more present in my own life.  How I need to keep taking these mental pictures of Marley when she does one of the hundreds of things that make me smile……..the way she is mastering jumping with both feet (it looks so silly), how she says, “Yeah, yeah” to everything (and how it’s a clear indication she is NOT listening to me, the way she looks at me when she’s being sarcastic…chin to her chest and looking up rolling her eyes, how she yells, “Love you” from her bedroom for about 5 minutes after I close her door at bedtime.  Man, I love that little girl.  Even the smell of her blanket.  It was laying in our bed the other day and I picked it up and thought about how it just smells like Marley...

I’m taking mental pictures of Jax too.  He is growing up so fast…not even a baby anymore.  But I try to remember all the things I love about him at this particular moment.  I mean, it’s everything, really.  As much as I love my sleep, I love rescuing my little man at night when he cries, sitting in his room, nursing him and rocking him back to sleep.  The way the little fingers of one of his hands sprawl out on my chest.  And his smell……..ahhhh, can I bottle it up?!  There just really is nothing more precious in my life than my babies.  Sweet little miracles and I can’t believe they are mine.  

So, if nothing else, I hope my family and friends know how very much I love them.....how I carry them in my heart, wherever I go.  I do my best to always say those 3 words.  To smooch my nieces and nephew and tell them I love them.  To lift them up like I did when they were babies, because it seems like just yesterday they were.  Hey, I'm a lover, what can I say?!  And that is exactly how I want my kids to be........warm, affectionate, kind little people that don't hesitate to say I LOVE YOU, and hopefully they say it often!

Anyway…….enough sappiness for one day!  Seriously!  How about this weather?!?!  Haha! 

My sister took a few pics of my babies this past weekend.  She’s gotten so busy with her photography biz and that makes me SO HAPPY!!  Doing something she loves, finally!  And bonus…….she snaps photos of the kids from time to time.  Amazingly sweet pictures!  If you have not been to her website yet, please check it out.  Heidi Kubes Photography!.  Newborns, maternity, family, senior pics…….she does it all, or will give it a try if she hasn’t yet!  She gave me a peek at a couple pictures of Marley and Jax.  Here they are…  

Happy Tuesday!!

Back To The Grind...

I returned to work on February 20^th after 12 blissful (and sometimes not) weeks of maternity leave.  There really isn’t too much to say about going back…it is what it is, I knew I’d be working again, and I was prepared for the sadness of having to leave my baby.  That being said, it was much easier the second go-round.  And it really boils down to the fact that I LOVE my daycare provider, she’s amazing, and knowing that I’d be leaving Jax with her had me completely at ease.  Marley didn’t start daycare until she was 15 months old (as some may know we were fortunate enough to have Uncle Jesse take care of her out of our home).  We were led to Robin through a good friend of mine.  BEST THING that ever happened to us and our kiddos!  Marley has truly blossomed at daycare and I know Jax will do the same, and that he will have lots of attention and love from Robin and the gang of girls that have become Marley’s “friends”!  Being that my children are little extensions of my heart, knowing that they are well cared for and loved when I can’t be with them is the best feeling ever!  Funny how your daycare provider becomes almost like a part of your family, a second mother to your kids...this is truly how I feel about Miss Ra Ra!!

The good thing about being back to work is getting back to our normal routine.  Term normal used very loosely.  Something about 2 kids has really made me feel like a MOM.  Getting outfits picked out the night before, remembering to thaw the breast milk for Jax’s bottles at daycare, setting the “delay brew” on my coffee pot (which I never did before), meal-planning/prepping like it’s my jobby job…….anything to make the next day go smoother.  It does take a lot of organization, but it has helped immensely and kept me sane these last 3 weeks!!  I've actually grown to love the feeling of Sunday.  Not the "going to work tomorrow" part, but the "Ahhh...my house is clean, my fridge is full, my week is planned" part!

Little Jax buddy, or Bubby, as we call him, is doing great!  He’s adjusting to daycare and developing more of a schedule.  He found his thumb while napping at daycare the other week and he couldn’t be happier!!  When he gets tired, he starts chewing on his fists and soon enough, he gets that thumb!  Go Jax!!  And we have to keep an eye on this one….he has rolled over both ways already.  Not consistently, but he’s capable of doing it.  Just the other day at naptime, I watched him fuss in his crib while laying on his tummy.  He rolled onto one shoulder and started scooting himself over with his leg.  In a matter of 30 seconds he had rolled onto his back, found the thumb, and fell asleep!  Little stinker!!

Marley is also doing great.  She is so long and lean.  Always on the go.  And into everything!  I remember going to a Jerry Seinfeld comedy act in Vegas with Travis about 4 years ago...Jerry started talking about his family and he said, "Yeah...we have a 2 year old at home.  I recommend you NEVER get one of those!"  I couldn't relate at the time, but now...oh man, do I get it!!  Marley has learned to scale the walls of her crib, so she’s no longer held captive by that space!  We’re having minor (sometimes major) discipline issues with her.  We just haven’t quite figured out what is effective…time outs don’t seem to mean anything to her.  In fact, I had her in a time-out this weekend (she kicked her brother) and I was explaining the reason afterwards.  I told her that we don’t kick people, that we use our feet for jumping and running and such.  And I told her that I expect that she be nice to her brother and that I expect that Jax be nice to her.  And then I said, “You need to remember to listen to mommy because I’m the boss!”  And she looked at me, pointed at her chest and said, “I BOSS!”  And I said, “No, you are not the boss, mommy is the boss!”  At which point she repeated, “No, I boss!”  Officially have my hands full with that little devil!!!  She is such a spit-fire!

To compare (because it's fun to ponder whether or not they look alike), here is a picture of Marley at 3 months and one of Jax at 3 months.  So different, huh?!

Marley Jean

Jax Thomas

   
Aside from the usual craziness that accompanies two kiddos, we're doing well.  Getting over a house full of sickness, a bad cold that moved from Marley to me to Trav, and finally to Jax.  I hate it when all of us get sick......no fun!  We have a pretty low key weekend planned, thankfully.  Catching up on some rest, dinner with girlfriends tonight, breakfast and 3 month photos of Jax baby at my sister's house on Sunday!  Yay!!  And we have even better things to look forward to in the coming months.  We're less than 60 days away from Auntie Brenna's wedding in Naples, which means first flight for Jax and Marley's big debut as FLOWER GIRL!!!  Can't wait!!


Hope you all have a fabulous weekend with your loved ones and ENJOY the beautiful sunshine-y weather!!


XO!
Stevie

meet jax

Kind of hard to say what he will be like "when he grows up", much less to imagine how his personality will take shape over the next year.  One thing is for sure, he is TOTALLY SWEET!!!

Back into the world of babies...it's crazy how easily you forget what it's like to have a teeny one in the house.  A few things stand out in particular:

1.  Diapers.  Seriously.  I forgot that infants sometimes go through 10-12 diapers a day!  Wow!


2.  Clothes.  Itsy bitsy clothes.  And putting them on a squirming, lotioned up baby has to be my LEAST FAVORITE thing in the world.  Jax hates getting dressed!


3.  Blow-outs.  Not the "I just straightened my hair" kind.


4.  Backaches.  The constant holding/bopping a baby takes a toll.  Must bust out the yoga DVD's to remedy this!


5.  Nail clipping.  Again, seriously, this is another one of my least favorite things!  I've tried filing, and it just is not quite as effective.  I haven't cut him yet, so I guess I'm doing ok!


Sometimes I feel like we are running out of space for all the "stuff" that comes along with toddlers and babies.  Just as we had the baby gear stowed away, out it comes.  Our house has been invaded by bottles and frozen breastmilk and diapers and butt cream and those nose-sucky things (I DON'T even know the real name for it).  I knew I was back into the swing of this baby stuff when, once again, I started finding breast pads stuck under pillows or in the sheets of our bed.  Gross, yes......but whatever.  If you've nursed at night, in your bed, half asleep, you know what I mean.  Those things have a way of running off!  This morning I had 2 on one side and 1 on the other.  Not quite sure where I got the 3rd one from.  Must have been stuck in the covers!  Ha!  The good life, I'm telling you!


Those people that tell you to "sleep when baby sleeps"...pssshhhh.  In an ideal world, that would be oh-so-nice!  But really.  Is someone going to send a fairy over to my house to do a few loads of laundry, unload the dishwasher, prep dinner???  Having said fairy would be the only way that I could "sleep when baby sleeps".  Without her, my house would fall into complete disarray while we slept the day away!  This is the one thing that I panic about the MOST.  Returning to work in 2 1/2 weeks (soooooo sad), and hoping that I can juggle two kids, work, and such, while maintaining some sort of healthy meal plan for dinnertime and keeping my house sort of clean..........yes, I'm lowering my standards once again, from OCD clean, to really clean, to now sort of clean.  That will have to do for now.  I don't have the energy, nor will I have the time, to accomplish anything better.  


Back to Jax, my sweet baby boy!  Oh, I love him so much, I can't even explain!  He's super smiley, a bit colicky at night (witching hour perhaps), a very good eater, and just a precious little man.  Marley and Jax are getting along a lot better these days.  She must know that he's not going anywhere!  We don't have any sort of schedule quite yet, but Jax sleeps pretty good at night.  Not long stretches, but he'll sleep 3 hours, eat, fall back asleep immediately, and repeat about 3 times.  That's good enough for me!  I'm not feeling the tiredness that I felt the first time around, perhaps it's due to my being used to waking at night.  I've heard grandmas say that you won't get a good nights sleep until your kids are out of the house, and I'm sure that is true!  We've been trying to get Jax to sleep in his crib at night, but sometimes I bring him back into our bedroom (really because it's easier).......and I need to stop doing that!


I'll post some pics of his nursery tomorrow.  I realized I haven't taken any photos of his room and it's pretty cool!  Lucky little man!!

Happy hump day!!!

Tardy for the Party....

Yep...I'm waaaaaaaaay late in posting something, anything really, on the blog about the birth of our son!  And it's not because he's second best.  And it's not because I'm lazy.  It's truly because I haven't had a more than a few minutes to myself in the last six weeks.  Squeezing a shower in each day is a major accomplishment and I know all you mamas out there can relate.

As you all know, we welcomed Jax Thomas Severson into the world on December 6th, 2011.  He was born via c-section at 12:58pm, weighing 9lb 6oz, and measuring 21in.  What a BIG boy!!  Previously, I had written about my WISH to VBAC (to deliver vaginally and not have a repeat cesarean)...and obviously this didn't happen.  The story goes something like this:

I went to my doctor appointment on Monday, December 5th.  I was 41 weeks, 3 days pregnant.  Travis and I had decided that if I wasn't progressing, we would ask Dr. Jenkins to schedule a repeat c-section.  I had an ultrasound that day and also a non-stress test.  The ultrasound showed us that we had a big baby boy, that he was practicing his breathing skills, head down, ready to go.  The amniotic water was cloudy with vernix, much different than how the water looked early in pregnancy.  Our ultrasound tech noted that he was SO READY to come out, but she also pointed out that my cervix was not dilating at all.  The non-stress test was uneventful.  Baby was doing just fine and Dr. Jenkins told me she would let me stay pregnant for 1 more week if I wanted to stick to my guns and attempt a VBAC, though she did point out that he was already a big boy, and since my cervix wasn't doing anything, we could certainly end up in the operating room a week from now regardless.  I was uncomfortable and ready to meet the little guy, so I asked Dr. Jenkins if we could just schedule it...the thought of being pregnant past 42 weeks was making me sick.  And so that is what happened.  The next morning we woke up, had breakfast with our little miss (well, not me...I had to fast), dropped her off at daycare, and headed to the hospital.

It was easier this time around because we knew what to expect with the whole c-section process.  We checked in at St. Francis at 10am, where we were able to situate ourselves in our room that we would "live" in for the next 3 days.  At about noon, I was whisked away to the c-section suite (yes, at St. Francis they have an operating room on the same floor as the birthing suites...awesome).  I was prepped for surgery, where I had a minor freak out because the anesthesiologist, while attempting to numb me, sent a shooting pain down my back and then when I jumped, he replied, "Well, I'm not perfect!"  OMG!  You damn well better get this "perfect" because I don't want to be feeling this operation that is about to happen.  

Everything else was smooth sailing...and no, I didn't feel it!  We made bets in regards to how much baby would weigh.  Dr. Jenkins thought he'd weigh around 7lb, Travis thought he'd weigh 8lb 6oz, and I thought he'd weigh 9lb 3oz.  They struggled to get his shoulders out as they were situated at a weird angle in my pelvis.  Within 10 minutes, I heard that beautiful sound........a baby crying!!!  Ahhhh!!!  And Jax was lifted over the surgical drape so that I could see him and it was pure heaven!  Sweet, crying baby boy!  All 9lb 6oz of him!!  I was able to cuddle him immediately, and instead of Travis being swept out of the room with baby, they were allowed to stay sitting next to me, so that I could hold him and see him while I was stitched up.  It was a great experience when compared to my first c-section, and I'm very happy with how it all went........not dwelling on what could have been because the outcome, delivering a healthy baby, was achieved and that is all I ever prayed for!!

And so here we are, 6 weeks later.  Jax is a sweetheart...cranky at times, maybe a bit colicky (like his sister was), but smiley as can be and a breastfeeding monster!  We all love him to pieces and Marley is finally starting to adjust.  I'd be lying if I said it was all rainbows and unicorns in our house though.  The adjustment period, which were are still in the thick of, has been a struggle.  It's hard because we're all sooooo tired, we feel like we're just squeaking through our days, trying to tag team the kids, dealing with Marley's terrible 2's (can a 2 year old have A.D.D.?????), potty training, cluster feeding, cold/flu season, Christmas............the list goes on.  There have been moments when I retreat to an empty room and cry because I just think, how can I get through this...it's that hard.  I don't think, as a mom, that I'm alone in feeling that way.  I know this phase of our lives will pass, that things will get better, that everyone is growing and learning and adjusting...but it doesn't make the "hard stuff" any less hard.  And don't get me wrong, I love, capital LOVE, my kiddos to death!  It's just that this going from 1 to 2 kids stuff has been challenging, and maybe a lot of that has to do with Marley's age at the time Jax was born.  Being 2 is hard.  Lots of stuff going on with her, and throw a new brother in the mix......girl is going crazy!  And being naughty.  She can be a bruiser and a bully, and a "throw my food on the floor" master, and more recently, an "I am going to dig the poop out of my diaper with my bare hand everyday" girl, and sometimes that makes me sad, because I want her to be my sweet little girl.  And this stage too, shall pass.  I know.  Trav and I have those moments where we pass by each other, me feeding baby on the couch, him chasing after Marley as she literally tears the house apart, and we look at each other like, holy crap...what did we get ourselves into.  Ha!  Someday, we will have a date night again...someday, we'll be able to watch a movie at night while both kids sleep...someday, we'll be able to just sit, if even for just a moment.  

With all that being said, life is good.  We have two healthy, beautiful babies.  They are our world and we wouldn't change that for anything.  I'm sure these are the years that we'll really remember, the ones that pass so fast that if you blink, you'll miss something.  So, we're soaking it all up, loving our babies like there is no tomorrow, and praying for a date night (SOON)!!!!

Here's to a happy, healthy, wonderful 2012!!!

12 Hours and Counting...

It's about all that separates me from the dreaded Monday morning doctor appointment...the appointment that we scheduled on Friday afternoon, just in case I didn't go into labor this weekend.  Seems like a long shot at this point that labor will begin in the next 12 hours as I'm feeling not one ounce differently than I was on Friday, aside from just being really uncomfortable (and dealing with a cold that my little Mars gave to me...thank you bunny)!  

So, here I am...a tinch over 41 weeks.  I cannot even believe I just wrote those words.  41 weeks!!!  On one hand, I'm mad at myself for obsessing over due dates, which are meaningless and do nothing but force women into fixating on a particular day in time, a day that in no scientific way can be pinned down.  And that day comes and goes for so many of us...which in turn causes us to obsess over when the baby is going to be born, over every new sign and symptom, literally watching the hours tick by.  I'm not going to lie, each time I stand up, whether it's getting out of bed or getting up off the couch, I'm secretly hoping there is a gush of water...because then I will know, yes, the baby is coming!!!  Exhausting to say the least!


As many of you may know from having read my blog, I was desperately wanting to VBAC with baby #2.  I really, really, really wanted to experience actually "birthing" my baby vs. having another c-section....the thrill of the pain, the pushing, the BRAND NEW baby laying on my chest.  I wanted to experience that.  And my hopes of doing so are getting lower and lower by the minute.  At each of my last 4 weekly doctor appointments I was not dilated at all.  My appointment 3 days ago was no different, only this time, since I was coming up on being a week overdue, we had to really discuss what that meant for me.  In my particular situation, being that I'm trying to VBAC, there really is NOTHING they can do to induce labor unless I am dilated.  So, in order to be induced (membranes stripped, water broken, pitocin given, etc), I need to at least be dilated to a 1 or 2.  They cannot use Cervidil (which would help me dilate) on a VBAC patient as it has been shown to quadruple the rate of uterine rupture.  That being said....tomorrow is a big day.  IF I do not go into labor tonight (doubtful), I'll head to my appointment at 11am and first stop is ultrasound.  They are going to check the levels of amniotic fluid, monitor baby's movements, estimate his size, and take a peek at the placenta.  After the ultrasound, I'll head up to my OB's office for a non stress test, where they'll hook me and baby up to the labor/delivery heart rate monitor to see how he's doing.  Both the ultrasound and the non stress test will help to determine how urgently baby needs to come out.  In all reality, there are 2 outcomes...

1.  If I am dilated tomorrow, my OB will check me in to the hospital either that night or Tuesday morning and she'll break my water (the safest way to induce a VBAC patient).  

2.  If I'm not dilated, we'll be scheduling a c-section, for either that night (if there is a concern about baby's well-being based on the tests) or for Tuesday.

In my eyes, the likelihood of a repeat c-section seems definite.  I just have very little hope that labor will begin, or that I'll be dilated tomorrow (I'm being a negative Nancy, I know).  And on one hand, I'm saddened by this...........like I said, I so wanted to avoid the repeat c-section route and felt very positive about my chances at being successful in delivering this little guy.  On the other hand, I selfishly think I should have just scheduled the c-section, as I would have had my son 3 weeks ago already, and I wouldn't have had to go through all of this torturous waiting.  I've already had 1 c-section, and throughout this entire pregnancy, I've always told myself that whatever happens, happens.  I didn't feel any less connected to Marley because she was born via c-section, we had no troubles nursing, she's healthy as a horse.............but I wanted to experience birth the other way too.  To not be drugged and groggy, to not have the incision in my stomach, to not have to wait 45 minutes until I held her...


And that's my story.  People have been wondering when baby is coming...and that is about all I know!  I guess on the bright side of things, I will be meeting him very soon, one way or another!!  I had a mini sob-fest last night because I just want to see him so very badly!!  And Travis keeps trying to tell me that we'll meet him in a matter of days, and since this is likely our last child, I should enjoy the last few moments of being pregnant (he knows that eventually I will miss it again...........but for now, I'm all complainer)!  I do need to put it into perspective, but it's easier said than done.


In related news, we couldn't be more ready for the little guys arrival.  I did not work at all last week.  Never thought I would start maternity leave BEFORE having a baby, but with the way Thanksgiving fell, and my due date, it worked out perfectly.  Of course, it would have been nice to have baby mid-week last week...instead I had the whole week off and in between WAITING, I accomplished a lot of things that I wouldn't have had I been working.  I took naps, we got the house decorated, spent LOTS of quality time with Travis and Marley, and my house is more clean than it has been in a long time.  I organized cupcoards, cleaned out drawers, worked on craft projects that had been sitting around for WAY TOO LONG.....it was a very productive week and I needed it.  And it was nice, being that I've been uncomfortable, to be in the comfort of my own home...away from work, from traffic, from the hustle and bustle that is everyday life.  I made coffee at home, picked Marley up early from daycare, knocked off some of our Christmas shopping.......overall, a great week!!


This morning I had the pleasure of hanging out with Angie, Marley's godmother and one of my dear friends...she was so sweet to treat me to a pedicure as she knows I'm at the end of my rope and thought it would perk me up a bit, which it did!!  Plus, she knew that the last pedicure I had was about 3 weeks ago, when I was "sure" the baby would arrive any day!  So now I have pretty, sparkly red toes.........all ready for a hospital stay!!  Thank you, Angie!!  Love you to pieces!!


While I was off getting pampered, Travis took Marley to run some work related errands.  He bundled her up, snowboots and all, and off they went in his big van.  She was so happy to be heading out with Daddy for the day....his little side-kick!  When they returned, I had just gotten home and Marley was all tuckered out from her morning of "work"......eating donuts and dancing and silly face-making with dada.  It's funny how alike the two of them are!  She makes all of his funny facial expressions and is just a little ham!!  

A few camera picks taken over the last week or two, just to show you what we've been up too!  Hopefully the next blog post will be to show off pictures of baby Jax!  Can't wait for the world to meet him!

Marley's stocking...I almost have it finished!!  The ivory silk flower was in my hair on our wedding day and her first pair of Joyfolie shoes will hang from the hanging loop with ribbon!

Sasha's ornament for 2011

Little lady can't keep her hands off the tree :)

Marley's ornament that she made at daycare!!  She is so proud of this one...she even picked out where she wanted it to hang on our tree!

The tree!!!!

40 Weeks and my best sad face!!

41 Weeks.........it's about time!

Can't believe this pretty girl is almost 4 years old (in February)!!

Silly I know, but I got these boots for my birthday from Trav and I am just in love with them.....I was so happy that it snowed in the last 2 days because I got to bust them out!!  Love, love, love big ol' clunky, practical, warm, waterproof snow boots!!!

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!

XOXO!!

Baby, baby...where are you???

Another week goes by and still no baby.  Patience is running low.  My house is clean.  Hospital bags are packed.  Laundry is done and put away.  Bills are paid.  The nursery is ready.  I’m ready…and now we WAIT.  Ugh!  This has got to be the WORST part! 

In the back of my mind I keep thinking about IF I had opted for the repeat c-section, I’d be at the hospital today, meeting this little man.  Sounds tempting, no?!

If you hadn’t guessed, no new news at my doctor appointment on Friday.  No progression made.  His head is still “engaged”…and that is painful enough.  I’ve been having an increased amount of contractions, but obviously nothing that is getting me any closer to meeting this little man.  I spent the weekend relaxing, cleaning, nesting, bouncing on my exercise ball….the usual!  And here we are…boo to another Monday morning at WORK!!  I would much rather be at home, or better yet, at the hospital. 

In the event that baby Jax does not make his appearance in the next few days, the plan is to finish off the work week (which is just Monday-Wednesday) and then call it quits for 12 weeks.  If it were solely up to me, I’d probably keep working right up until the very last second…but Travis is getting a bit worried about me being away from home these days.  He thinks that when women go into labor it is like an instant gush of water everywhere, that I’m instantly in terrible pain, and that I have absolutely no fore-warning of all of this happening……basically, a big old natural disaster.  And I suppose it could be that way, but highly unlikely!

My next doctor appointment is this Friday.  I’ll be 39 weeks and 6 days…………..hoping something happens before then, but we’ll see.   

It's pretty bad when even Marley senses my frustration.  As I buckled myself into the car Sunday morning, I let out a big sigh (sigh of relief that I made it, because getting out the door and into the car and situated is no easy task these days).  All of a sudden I heard another big sigh from the back seat and turn around to find Marley smiling at me.  She totally copied me.  I took another deep breath and let out another sigh, and sure enough, she looks at me, smiles, and says, "Uggghhhhhhhhhhh!"  My sweet baby girl!!!  Gotta love her!

Happy Monday…….sigh! 

Ready, Set, Go!!! Fingers Crossed!

I’m trying to have patience, really, I am.  Patience to get me through these last 12 days, which I suppose could be more than 12, though I really HOPE not!!  I’m working on “trusting” in the fact that my body knows when it’s time to give birth, and that there is nothing I can do to make it happen any earlier.  Yet still, every day I wake up wondering if today will be the day.  I over-analyze every little sign and symptom that labor may be starting.  I convince myself that yes, today I feel a little bit different, so that MUST mean something is about to happen.  Crazy what the mind can do, but all I can say is that I’M READY!!!  COME OUT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO LITTLE GUY…THE EARLIER THE BETTER!!

Sister and Mom to the rescue this past weekend…I’ve been struggling these last few days.  Tired and dealing with a sick baby…makes for MORE EXHAUSTION!  So, my sister called Friday morning and asked if she could come pick up Marley and take her for the weekend, bless her :)  As if her house isn’t crazy enough with 3 kiddos!  I had a wave of guilt wash over me for letting Marley go, because the weekends are really all I get with her!  I felt bad sending her off to stay with someone else, but knew that I NEEDED a break and rest was the only way I was going to get better.  Turns out that having a child-free weekend really was a good thing…..at my doctor appointment Friday afternoon, they diagnosed me with a sinus infection and ear infection, prescribed me a very low dose of antibiotics, and sent me home with strict orders to REST!  Impossible to do with an almost 2 year old!

Auntie Heidi came to get Marley at around 6:00pm on Friday night, and she was all happy smiles taking off in a car packed with her cousins!  As for me…I was actually able to sit and do nothing, which I haven’t done in forever!  We ordered pizza, made a fire, and watched Gold Rush (Trav can’t get enough of this show).  Unfortunately, the night time nausea kicked in and all I could eat was 1 piece of cheese bread……but hey, I’m trying not to complain.  I got a good night sleep, woke up and watched about 4 hours of The Rachel Zoe Project marathon while drinking coffee (can you say lazy), and took a nap!  We ran to Ikea later that afternoon and were able to pick up the last few things we needed for the nursery, and then stopped at Champs for buffalo chicken fingers (craving them)!  We had every intention of actually watching a movie for once, but we ended up hanging out in the living room, watching mindless TV in front of the fireplace…Travis working on a bid for a side job and me, doing yoga stretches on the floor, trying to coax baby to “come out” already!!

My mom and Scott drove Miss Mars back home to us on Sunday morning and I was SO HAPPY to see her.  It was weird being at home all weekend and seeing her bedroom empty!  She was happy to be reunited with her toys and Sasha……and her DADDY!  She’s obsessed with Travis!!  The rest of the day on Sunday was spent napping, running errands, stocking the cupboards/fridge with groceries, finishing up laundry, putting the finishing touches on the nursery……..I even got my hospital bag packed and the infant car seat is ready to go!  Feeling prepared but my mind still races with more tasks to add to my to-do list!

Back to my doctor appointment…it was uneventful, to say the least.  No weight gain, which she said is normal in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  And nothing else is going on in terms of dilation/effacement.  Baby’s head is “engaged” in my pelvis, and that is about it.  I’m measuring 40 weeks and she sent me away with my prescription and a tip to relax, because this could be my last weekend without baby.  Oh please, let that be true!!

A rare, bare-belly photo...me and baby Jax at 38 weeks:

I’m hoping this week will be the week…….and I don’t have any plans made, just in case.  I’m taking Friday off, mainly because the weeks are just getting to be too long for me.  I also go back to the doctor that day, but fingers crossed I’ve already checked into the hospital (haha)!  I’m planning on taking some photos of the nursery this week, and I’ll post them so that everyone can see where baby Jax will be sleeping!  Just can’t wait to meet this little guy!

Wishing you all a great week…….it’s almost Thanksgiving, I cannot believe it!  Today I’m thankful for my family (especially for the help my mom/sister provided this weekend…..I appreciated the break so very much), and even more THANKFUL for my wonderful husband who works harder than ANY MAN I know and is truly the glue that keeps our family together and moving ahead!  How lucky I am to have him in my life and for our children to be blessed with such a wonderful male role model.  I can’t imagine my days without you, Travis!!